For UCLA, It’s Become a Sign of the Times: Help Wanted

Now, wait a minute. Larry Brown coached in the national championship game Monday , attended the victory pep rally Tuesday , skipped the trip to the John Wooden Award party Wednesday , interviewed for the UCLA job Thursday and announced that he was keeping his Kansas job Friday ?

How long was the interview--45 seconds? What did they do--time it with the Pauley Pavilion shot clock?

How much thought did ol’ Brownie give the Bruins? Between the dinner service and the in-flight movie?

What was the big hurry? Kansas couldn’t wait one lousy weekend? Larry of Lawrence couldn’t have hung around Los Angeles 48 more hours? Taken a couple of lunches with the Westwood crowd? Taken the Universal Studios Tour? Taken a couple more meetings? To paraphrase Woody Allen, were all the good meetings taken?

Most of all, how come the best college basketball coaching job of the 1960s and ‘70s suddenly is turning into George McGovern’s search for a vice presidential nominee? Why won’t anybody play ball? What’s wrong--does this campus have cooties? Do UCLA players need Certs? Has this thing gone from a dream job to a bad-dream job?

Why do coaches prefer North Carolina State and Duke and Kansas to University of the Stars? Why do players from Southern California pick Syracuse and Michigan over surf city?

For some reason, this is starting to become: How you gonna get them to see Paree, after they’ve been down on the farm?

Larry Brown was supposed to be a goner. That is, a comer. He craved the UCLA job, we heard. He was a sure thing, we heard. Kansas winning the national championship was the seal on the deal. There was no more reason to stay. It was the old Lone Ranger Theory: I must leave you now. My work here is done.

We turned on the television, here on the right side of the country, Friday morning and heard guys saying Brown is about to announce for UCLA. We called somebody at UCLA, who said: Don’t be shocked if there’s a Saturday press conference. We heard the UCLA athletic director sent Brown and his baggage back to LAX with every reason to believe that the coach’s chair at Pauley could safely be saved with one of those airline cards that read: “Occupied.”

The plane took off.

And it was goodby, Larry.

All we can assume is that the poor guy simply could not stomach the thought of three or four more years of snickering and sniggering about being the happy wanderer of basketball coaches. Brown had complained so loud and so often about being cast as some sort of monster, “The Man Who Can’t Stand Still,” that maybe he couldn’t bear to push his luck.

Here’s another theory: A lot of people think Larry Brown is the boy on the bubble when the day comes that the coach of his alma mater, Dean Smith of North Carolina, calls it a career. Could be a couple years from now, could be five, could be 10. Kansas would forgive that one. By then, Brown would have waited a decent period of time.

Besides, UCLA ain’t no alma mater. UCLA is a slap in the face. That’s the way some Kansans would look at it, if Larry Brown left a championship team--and every underclassman he recruited to it--for greener, smoggier pastures.

Where does this leave UCLA?

In need, that’s where.

In need of someone who can coach like Rollie Massimino, recruit like Bill Frieder, motivate like Bob Knight, charm like C.M. Newton, hustle like Jerry Tarkanian, shoot and shovel the bull like Jim Valvano, succeed like Dean Smith and stay as relatively modest as Looie Carnesecca.

You know who this person is, of course.

Denny Crum.

Isn’t gonna happen, sorry to say. The guy’s locked in at Louisville. Millions of dollars at stake there. Would cost UCLA a fortune.

But he’s the guy.

Bobby Cremins gets mad and hangs up when you call him about leaving Georgia Tech, so forget him. Frieder’s wife keeps bugging him about moving from Michigan to a better climate, so maybe he’d be worth dialing up. Digger Phelps--now, that might be an interesting phone call. None of these guys have won any championships, but maybe all they need is a change of scenery.

There are UCLA boosters who think Paul Westhead of Loyola or Jim Harrick of Pepperdine could do a good job. Could be. Westhead recently said he hadn’t been contacted but added that if UCLA calls, you gotta at least take the call.

Hey, we hope so.

We’re beginning to worry that coaches around the country today are busy changing their phone numbers, just in case UCLA is thinking of calling.