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Olbermann, KCBS Get Retort for Joyner Report

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What foul journalistic instincts led Keith Olbermann to accuse Florence Griffith Joyner of drug abuse on the grounds that he “owed it to his viewers” to go on the air with malicious speculation?

The answer is simple. For years, it has been rumored throughout the broadcasting industry that Olbermann is a heavy user of the illegal South American drug Ibogaine, a substance first brought to national attention by Hunter S. Thompson during the 1972 presidential primaries. According to Thompson, effects of the drug include “visions, a delusion or alteration of thinking” and a tendency to “spiral off into babbling rages.”

This explains Olbermann. But how do you explain Channel 2’s hiring of this smug, half-witted, self-promoting bozo, and their support of his nightly cheap shots and bad jokes passed off as reporting? Perhaps all of KCBS is in the grip of mass Ibogaine frenzy?

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But of course, this is merely speculation on my part. If I’m wrong, I’ll send Olbermann a letter of apology and a 1-way ticket to the Comedy Store.

JUDD KLINGER

Hollywood

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