They Love Slough--And Hough!

--For more than 50 years, Slough, a London suburb, kept a stiff upper lip after a scathing attack by poet laureate Sir John Betjeman. Now, more than 100 local would-be poets have taken up rhyme to counter this Betjeman verse:

Come friendly bombs, and fall on Slough.

It isn’t fit for humans now.

There isn’t grass to graze a cow.

Swarm over, Death.

The tardy rebuttals touting Slough, whose name comes from the Old English word for swamp, in September became a book called “In Praise of Slough,” subtitled “The Quagmire Strikes Back.” Betjeman, who died in 1984, supported Slough’s sunderance because he hated its architecture, which was too modern and plain in comparison to the Victorian style he loved. The Slough Observer sponsored a contest that begat the book after John Baine, commissioned last year, had responded in verse to Betjeman’s slur. Winner Matthew Moore, 13, wrote:

Come, friendly bombs and fall elsewhere.

But please don’t fall on Slough so fair.

For I cannot see how

Anyone could dislike Slough ...

Good old Slough has saved her face;

Here’s a better poem to take its place.

--A Kansas City real estate salesman fed up with the air of superiority he perceives on the East and West coasts plans to market Peoria High School fashions to compete with the snooty Beverly Hills High School line. “I’ve traveled to both coasts and the perspective seems to be that there’s nothing between New York and Los Angeles. It’s like the Midwest doesn’t exist,” said Fred Wolferman. He called Peoria, an Illinois River city of 120,000, “a true heartland city.” Wolferman said he got the idea when he read this quote about the non-heartland line from Shannon Richey of Lucas Enterprises Inc.: “This is the closest most kids in Peoria will ever feel they’re part of the Beverly Hills High School attitude.”

--The sixth Earl of Stradbroke plans to sell his family’s ancestral silver and other heirlooms this week because “we don’t take much notice of titles in Australia. They all think I’m a pub.” The earl, whose name is Robert Keith Rous, said: “I was 46 before I got this pain . . . thrust on me. If you are a bit uncouth like me, you can’t learn at 46 to appreciate art.” The auctioneer says the three-day sale starting Monday should bring about $1.7 million for the salty millionaire Stradbroke. “I wouldn’t give you two bob (about 17 cents) for the lot of it,” the earl said. After arranging the London auction, he returned to his Aussie sheep station.