A Fractured Docu-Tale of Disney’s ‘Sleeping Beauty’

The following scenario is excerpted from the “Sleeping Beauty” episode of “Fractured Fairy Tales,” circa 1960, by Jay Ward and gang. Note that the visage of the Prince might seem reminiscent of Walt Disney; similarly, his Sleeping Beauty Land might call to mind Disneyland. If this were true, then it might seem a delicious irony that Disney’s company has bought the videocassette rights to the Jay Ward library.

You remember Sleeping Beauty, how she’s put under a spell by a wicked fairy, how when she pricks her finger with a needle--and falls into a deep sleep from which she can be wakened only by a princely kiss.

Well, as luck has it, along comes a prince who gooses up his power mower and slashes his way through the fence of thorns around the castle. He heads straight to the Tower Room where Sleeping Beauty is at rest.

The Prince is just about to kiss the princess when. . . .

He is struck with a concept.

“Awake she’s just another princess. Asleep she’s a gold mine!”

He envisions Sleeping Beauty comics, Sleeping Beauty Hats, Sleeping Beauty bubblegum and . . . biggest of all . . . Sleeping Beauty Land!

The castle was soon made ready as a great tourist attraction. . . .

It was a major hit. Headlines Variety: DOZE DOLL DUZ WIZ BIZ.

Then Yolanda the Wicked Fairy shows up at the Castle. The Prince offers her some free coupon books but Yolanda wants half of this whole setup or else!

“Else what?,” asks the Prince.

“Else I use my magic power to wake her up!”

So the Prince decides to cooperate (hee hee hee) and gives her the royal tour of Sleeping Beauty Land--including Dungeonland. He locks up her wrists and leaves her there and goes back to counting profits.

Yolanda, having ripped off her bonds, shows up again. It was fun. So the Prince puts her feet in concrete and pushes her off the Castle as another special treat. She loves it. The Prince sends her happily rocketing into outer space.

Anyway, business starts falling off. Says Variety: DOZE DOLL DULL .

Yolanda suddenly reappears from her trip (“Was that ever a ride!”) to learn that Sleeping Beauty Land has turned floperoo.

Yolanda reasons that the Princess has been sleeping for 20 years . . . and maybe people now will pay money to talk to someone who’s been sleeping for 20 years!

But how to wake her up. Yolanda admits that she’s not really a wicked fairy, just wicked. The Prince reveals that he’s not really a Prince, just someone who made a living beating pigskins to make them soft--a hog flogger.

Then an amazing thing happens--the Princess wakes up!

“Don’t worry. kids, I wasn’t really asleep.”

“Then why the big act?”

“I just wanted to see if I could make it in Show Biz!”