Reagan: Throwing the Book at Him

Until a few days ago, my life and Ronald Reagan’s life had some shocking similarities:

He was born in Illinois and I was born in Illinois.

He was born in this century; I was born in this century.

He became governor of California; I have been to California.

He became President; I have voted for President.

Eerie, no?

And even though it is childish and wrong, I couldn’t help but constantly measure my accomplishments against his. (He had his own plane; I had my own car.)

Last week, however, he really did me in. When I learned that we were both working on books, I figured it was yet another case of the weird kismet that has connected our lives.

And then I found out how much he is getting for his book: Around $4 million for his memoirs, plus another million for a collection of his speeches.

This is somewhat more than I am getting for my book. And my first reaction to this news was jealousy. Which was followed by my second reaction: more jealousy.

Since I am thoroughly ashamed of my thoughts, I figured I would share them with you:

Thought No. 1: Ronald Reagan was the President who couldn’t remember things.

I’m sure you remember this. During the Iran-Contra scandal, he constantly said he couldn’t remember what he approved when. Ed Muskie, a member of the Tower Commission that investigated the scandal, said of Reagan’s testimony to that body: “What he didn’t remember astonished us.”

When asked why he couldn’t remember when he had approved the first shipment of arms to Iran, Reagan replied: “Everyone who can remember what they were doing on Aug. 8, 1985, raise your hand. I think it’s possible to forget.”

But if he forgot all this stuff, how is he going to write a $4 million book about it?

Answer: He must have taken notes.

Thought No. 2: Ronald Reagan was the President who didn’t take notes.

In his address to the nation following the Tower Commission report, Reagan said: “One thing still upsetting to me, however, is that no one kept proper records of meetings or decisions (of the National Security Council). This led to my failure to recollect whether I approved an arms shipment before or after the fact.”

He didn’t take notes. Nobody else took notes. So this part of his book, the greatest scandal of his presidency, should be a very short chapter.

Thought No. 3: Ronald Reagan was the President who, according to his aides, never knew what was going on in the White House.

Book after book by the people who worked for him has said that he was “detached” or “out of the loop” or “delegated” away his authority.

And, according to James Cannon, former aide to White House Chief of Staff Howard Baker, Reagan was so “detached” that high level White House aides considered invoking the 25th Amendment to remove him from office.

In the book, “Landslide: The Unmaking of the President, 1984-88,” Cannon is quoted as saying: “They (aides) told stories about how inattentive and inept the President was. He was lazy; he wasn’t interested in the job. They said he wouldn’t read the papers they gave him--even short position papers and documents--all he wanted to do was to watch movies and television at the residence.”

Thought No. 4: Ronald Reagan was the President who even had his “ad-libs” scripted for him.

Yet, according to his publisher, Simon & Schuster, Reagan has decided “he is going to write it (the book) himself.”

Thought No. 5: Ronald Reagan is going to make a fortune off this book.

And I am happy for him. Having got all my mean and jealous thoughts off my chest, I now feel liberated. So I called my agent, Rafe (Agent to the Stars) Sagalyn, to ask the key question: Can anyone sell enough books to earn a $4 million advance?

“The short answer is yes,” Rafe said. “Simon & Schuster also probably got world rights and paperback rights for that kind of money, which will help. And if I were them, I’d print a special leather-bound, slip-cased edition, maybe 3,000 to 5,000 of them, and sell those for $200 or so each. That would help.

“Traditionally, however, the First Ladies have outsold their husbands. Rosalynn outsold Jimmy and Betty outsold Gerry. Nancy’s book will be out this fall. She got $3 million for hers.”

(But look at it this way: She’s been running the country for the last eight years. Sorry, that just sneaked in. I am thoroughly ashamed of myself.)

But how many books, I asked Rafe, does it take to earn $4 million?

“Let’s say about 500,000 copies,” he said.

Gee, I said, that sounds like a lot of books to sell.

“Well, yes and no,” Rafe said. “Last year, the ‘Eight Week Cholesterol Cure’ sold a million.”

Which is what makes this country so great: Not only can anyone be President; anyone can write a best seller.