Holland’s Slap-Happy Cow Traders

The men stand in pairs around the brick square, shrouded by the early morning mist. They seem locked in some strange form of combat.

Near me, two men are nose to nose--eyes narrowed, speaking in fast, guttural Dutch. One man holds a hand near his waist, palm up. The other holds his hand near his shoulder, palm down.

They slap hands, continue talking, then slap again and again. After a particularly loud slap, they pull away from each other, smile and relax. One begins to roll a cigarette.

These men, farmers from the north of Holland, have just struck a deal for a cow. There are no contracts, no middlemen. No money changes hands, but each man is honor-bound to the deal by this old slapping ritual.

It is a scene that repeats itself over and over, every Tuesday morning in this old market city. Less than half an hour’s drive from Amsterdam, the Purmerend livestock market gives the early rising visitor a glimpse of the way the Dutch have been trading for hundreds of years.

Trading Done Early

The market is open from 7 a.m. to noon. The most active trading takes place early, so Dutch friends picked us up about 6:30 for the short drive from central Amsterdam.

We left the city via the Ijtunnel and took the Volendam highway about 10 miles north to the Purmerend turnoff, then followed the signs to the town and parking just off the main road across from the NordHollands canal.

It’s not hard to find the market. The faint baying protests of sheep and cows grew stronger as we walked through the old town. So did the earthy smell of fresh manure and wet straw.

Suddenly the narrow, twisting street opened to a broad brick square . . . and the incongruous sight of row upon row of black and white cows tied to trees in the middle of town.

The animals’ steaming breath and the soft dawn mist gave the square an ethereal quality. It was not hard to imagine that I’d stepped away from the 20th Century as I gazed at the narrow gabled old buildings lining the square.

The farmers moving among the animals were dressed as their fathers and grandfathers before them in dark cloth coats, soft caps and klompen , the varnished, boatlike wooden shoes I’d assumed were worn just for tourists these days.

Wooden Shoes Practical

But the wooden shoes are still quite practical for farmers. The thick, sturdy wood protects their feet from being crushed by powerful hooves, and it’s easy to hose off each day’s accumulation of mud and manure.

We were free to walk between the rows of snorting, stamping animals with the farmers, many of them, I noticed, carrying wooden canes. From time to time a man would stop and run his cane along a hindquarter or prod a chest.

If a particular cow caught his fancy, he’d turn to the owner and enter into the slapping negotiation. Each slap punctuated an offer or counteroffer in price, with the culminating slap sealing the deal.

Although at first glance there seemed to be nothing but a sea of cows, we soon found pens of baby calves, sheep and goats. And chickens, ducks and rabbits of all breeds.

My favorite corner of the square was stacked with cage upon cage of exotic birds: parrots, canaries, parakeets, finches, lovebirds, doves and pigeons all singing, screeching or cooing in competition with the braying of the livestock.

Cow of Different Color

It seemed that every man who’d made a deal that morning was reliving it in the bustling Cafe de Bonte Koe (cow of a different color).

The cozy room was crowded with gesticulating farmers drinking strong black coffee accompanied by shots of iced geneever, the perfumed Dutch gin.

We squeezed into a table near the wood-burning stove and studied the oil-painted murals of windmills and country roads signed by J. W. Stapper.

Rested and nourished, we plunged back into the square and returned to the cages of small animals, where our friends paid less than $10 U.S. for a huge white rabbit to take home for a pet.

Then we made our way back slowly through the old town, visiting the general market that lines the walking streets on livestock days.

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A visit to the Tuesday morning livestock market in Purmerend makes an ideal day trip from Amsterdam. Take the yellow bus marked “100-Purmerend,” which leaves every half-hour from the NZH bus terminal across the street from Amsterdam’s Central Station.

The old town makes a good base for exploring that attractive rural area, which includes famous villages such as Edam and Volendam.

For accommodations, try the Hotel Waterland (Herengracht 1; singles 55-66 guilders, doubles 85-95 guilders) or the more modest Hotel Beemsterpolder (Purmerenderweg 232; singles 50 guilders, doubles 75 guilders).

For more information on Purmerend, contact the Municipal Information Centre and VVV, Kaasmarkt 3, P.O. Box 1440 AC, Purmerend, Netherlands.

For more information on travel to the Netherlands, contact the Netherlands Board of Tourism, 90 New Montgomery St., Suite 305, San Francisco 94105, phone (415) 543-6772 or (213) 678-8802.