Viewing the News in Sports From a Different Angle

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News: Rose Pal Betting on Pete

Joe Kaiser, manager of a bar near Cincinnati’s Riverfront Stadium, says of his friend Rose: “He’s never bet on baseball. I’d go before a firing squad and say he didn’t bet on baseball.”

Views: Thanks, Joe, but the truth is that firing squads are notoriously unsympathetic to character witnesses.

However, Joe, if you can persuade the investigators from the IRS, FBI and major league baseball that Rose is innocent, you’re a shoo-in for Manager of the Year.

News: Critics Blast Halos for Early Look at Lefty Rook

The Angels have been criticized for installing Jim Abbott in the pitching rotation. There are charges that Mike Port and Doug Rader, by not sending Abbott to the minors for seasoning, are exploiting him for his marquee value.

Views: Give the kid a break. He earned that spot on the Angel staff. He showed in spring training that he has the arm and the head of a major leaguer.

As for the extreme amount of pressure on Abbott from the media and fans--all of whom seem eager to see him succeed, by the way--that’s something he would have to face whenever he got to the major leagues, this season or 10 years from now.

Better to get the circus atmosphere out of the way now and let Abbott get on with his career. If he’s good, the team desperately needs him. If he has to go through a few more rocky outings before regaining his normal poise, why not let him pay those dues now?

Abbott will get better coaching in the majors than he would in the minors, presumably, and he’ll get sensible and sensitive handling from Rader.

News: Brown Denies Denying Denial

The headline writer (me) got carried away here. Actually, all Larry Brown denied was the report that he had thrown his hat in the ring for the then-vacant Michigan coaching job.

It was a silly report, anyway. Most people in the sport take it for granted that Larry is interested in any coaching job, except whichever one he has. And the one at Kansas. He wouldn’t want to get mixed up with a team on probation.

News: Michigan Fans Show Spirit, Pride

Celebrating their basketball team’s victory in the National Collegiate Athletic Assn. championship game, a mob of Michigan students rampaged through Ann Arbor, smashing windows, uprooting street signs and overturning a taxi.

Views: Bo Schembechler must be pleased. Surely out of this group of revelers he can find some walk-ons who can sack a quarterback.

Why is it that Eastern fans--Detroit, Boston, New York, Ann Arbor--do so much car-flipping? Is there a regional shortage of lube racks?

News: Hoch’s Choke a Joke to Tour Folk

The actual headline in another downtown newspaper, on a story about Masters’ runner-up Scott Hoch, was: “Odds are few shed tears when Hoch missed putt in playoff.”

The story said, “According to Golf Digest polls, (Hoch) was voted the least popular player on the PGA Tour.”

Views: I’m no journalism professor, but weren’t there a few questions left unanswered in the other 20 paragraphs of the story?

Who was polled? Golfers? Writers? Eskimos? What was their beef?

If we’re going to assassinate a guy’s character, don’t we need a few specifics? Is Hoch stuck-up, stand-offish, stingy, diseased? Does he rattle his keys when other guys are putting?

Why do Golf Digest pollsters even solicit such information? Perspiring minds want to know.

News: NBA Stars Get Olympic OK

The IOC has ruled that pro basketball players are eligible for Olympic competition.

Views: It’s doubtful that stars such as Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan and Mailman Malone could handle a grueling two-month Olympic season on top of their own nine-month NBA grind.

Why not send some of our retired, slightly over-the-hill players? Calvin Murphy, a sensation at the recent NBA old-timers game, would be a devastating three-point bomber.

And wouldn’t the Olympics be a perfect venue for the long-awaited comeback of Wilt Chamberlain?

I’m serious. All we need is a coach. Bob Knight or a similar tight-collar college coach couldn’t handle this crew. Wonder if Larry Brown would be interested?