Commentary : For White, Now Without Football, the Toughest Battle Begins Today

Without pomp or circumstance, Charles White Wednesday snipped the umbilical cord that connected him with football. He retired, thus ending an odd career that was both triumphant and tragic, memorable and mysterious.

It was an amiable parting. White, 31, said it was time “to step aside,” and the Rams, loaded to the horns with young runners, did not disagree. Still, as fond farewells go, this one was like watching Lassie leave little Timmy. Ram Coach John Robinson went so far as to call White “the most aggressive player I’ve ever coached. Charlie gave everything he had to football. Nobody played the game harder.”

Ask Robinson for a first recollection of White and he remembers a certain practice drill at USC in the fall of 1976. Robinson was the head coach, White a freshman tailback. The drill called for four players--two offensive, two defensive--to square off against each other. That day the pairings featured Anthony Munoz, the fabled offensive lineman, against defensive end Gary Jeter, and White against star defensive back Dennis Thurman.

A coach’s whistle blew. Munoz then blew Jeter off the line and White blocked Thurman “like a wild man,” Robinson said.

“We all sort of stood there and said, ‘We got a couple of guys here,’ ” he said.

White departs the game with a Heisman Trophy, a National Football League rushing title, a Pro Bowl appearance and two knees that bend all the right ways. If you’re a running back, that’s enough to keep your chest puffed and your ego primed for years to come.

But White’s resume also has its share of soiled spots--too many, in fact, enough to take the shine off his many accomplishments. Turns out White could outrun cornerbacks, but not cocaine; slip past linemen, but not liquor. The NFL calls it substance abuse, though White might call his condition a self-inflicted nightmare.

In a four-sentence statement released by the Rams Wednesday, White said he had no interest in playing for anyone but the Rams. Truth be known, no other team would have him. He was virtually ignored when he became a free agent in 1985. He twice went unclaimed on waivers. Most recently, he was placed on the Rams’ unprotected list. Twelve of the 19 Ram unprotected players were signed by other teams. Not White.

The Rams and White, tethered by that delicate cord, were the perfect match. White needed the security of familiar surroundings and the understanding of Robinson, while the Rams needed, well, a caddy for Eric Dickerson.

Then the unthinkable happened: Dickerson was traded in 1987, leaving White, of all people, with a Ram running game strapped to his back. Rather than crumple under the weight, White bullied his way into the record books, edging out--you guessed it--Dickerson for the rushing title. It was a storybook ending.

Only one problem: it wasn’t the real ending. One week into the 1988 regular season, White was suspended for four games because he violated--again--the league’s substance abuse policy.

When he returned to the Ram roster, the depth chart had passed him by. Greg Bell had replaced him. From NFL leader to Ram bench sitter with one swig of the bottle. White’s departure was inevitable, even predictable. He could have made an appearance in training camp, perhaps made the team as a special teams player. But with Bell, Gaston Green and Robert Delpino in waiting, White’s days were numbered. At least this way, he retires on his terms.

“It’s time for it to be over,” said White’s wife, Judi. “It was our choice. We think better things are in store.”

Who knows what will happen to White? He now finds himself a free man, of sorts. No more curfews. No more urine tests. His responsibilities to the Rams have ceased. Still left, however, are the responsibilities to himself and his family.

About five months ago, Judi White wrote a poem about her husband. Simple, but heartfelt, it began:

Here we stand, naked as we are;

accusations, disapproval; a desire to run but where and how far?

A life shrouded in darkness ... does not a hero make.

Who are you? What are you? Man, get sober for your own sake!

The toughest man that ever lived; the strongest Trojan horse.

Yet you risk losing it all ... don’t you have any remorse?

The question created doubt and fear ... but you never gave up the fight ...

the fight to hold on to you; the confidence for which you held so tight.

So hold back the tears, a warrior never cries ...

They’ll never know that in the solitude, your heart cried out why?

No time for questions ... the answers you can find ...

those answers come slowly . . . ONE DAY AT A TIME.”

Day No. 1 started Wednesday.