This Guy Is in a Predicament Similar to Dallas Green’s

Tired of reading about football, baseball and basketball? Try a little cricket, English-style, as provided by Agence France Presse:

“England slumped to the heaviest defeat of their disastrous summer at Trent Bridge here on Monday.

“David Gower’s new-look side were routed by an innings and 180 runs soon after tea on the fourth day of the fifth Test as Australia went 4-0 up in a pitifully one-sided, six-match Ashes series.

“And before the inquests into this latest humiliation had even started, speculation was growing that Gower might be forced to resign.

“Today’s defeat was his 10th in his last 11 Tests as captain and the Leicestershire player’s overall record, spread over two terms in charge, now stands at: played 31, won 5, drawn 8, lost 18 . . . .”

On the dead run? From the Houston Chronicle: “Atlanta Falcon running back Kenny Flowers, who suffered a knee injury last preseason and missed the season, has two ligaments from cadavers. “I always hope they didn’t get ligaments from slow guys,” he said.”

No deal: St. Louis Manager Whitey Herzog said that if he were starting a new franchise, he’d want either San Francisco first baseman Will Clark or Cincinnati shortstop Barry Larkin.

Said Giant Manager Roger Craig: “Tell him he ain’t gonna get Clark.”

Trivia time: Name three first basemen who helped St. Louis win pennants after being acquired from San Francisco.

Add Cardinals: From Tim Kurkjian of the Baltimore Sun: “First baseman Pedro Guerrero wasn’t pleased that Pittsburgh pitcher Bob Walk had thrown him all breaking balls with a 5-0 lead. So the next time up, Guerrero hit a homer. He was clocked in 37.2 seconds from the point of impact until he touched the plate after his tour around the bases. It took him 13 seconds to get from home to first.”

That’s 5 m.p.h.

A natural: When the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra asked Steeler Coach Chuck Noll to do a stint as guest conductor, he dispatched Steeler business manager Joe Gordon to find out from the orchestra members what he was up against.

Gordon did. He told Noll: “I asked them what you’d have to know, and they said, ‘Nothing. The musicians don’t pay any attention to the conductor anyway.’ ”

“Sounds like football,” said Noll, who took the job.

Grim forecast: ESPN’s Peter Gammons, seeing little hope for Pete Rose, told USA Today: “Because Pete fought it, I think he’ll be banned from baseball when it’s over.”

Go see Reggie: Looking for an automobile? How about a building? Either way, Reggie Jackson can accommodate you.

“This is not a liquidation sale,” says Jackson, who also has a car dealership or two he might unload. “It’s just that I have too much. I’m uncomfortable with debt. I’ve got 15 buildings, six I haven’t seen, and 130 cars. I’d like to sell 50. I’ve got to pare down. I’ve got too much business. I can’t even get to a ballgame.”

Jackson hopes to return to baseball as an executive but says, “Right now, I don’t have the time, and there are no offers. It’s not the best combination.”

Trivia answer: Bill White, Orlando Cepeda and Jack Clark.

Quotebook: Angel Manager Doug Rader, on Bo Jackson: “I call him Boris. Just Bo--that doesn’t sound right.”