The Hoofers Step Ahead of the Singers at MTV Video Awards

Woe to all Madonna wanna-bes who have joyful voices but not happy feet. The full import of gotta sing, gotta dance never applied more than Wednesday night at the MTV Video Music Awards, which boasted a performing lineup full of hyphenates who hoof at least as well as they hum.

The prime exemplar of this shift in pop paradigms was Laker Girl-turned-choreographer-turned-chart-topper Paula Abdul. Her “Straight Up” clip captured four trophies (for female video, dance video, choreography and editing) and her three-song production number on the stage of the Universal Amphitheatre was a highlight of the sixth annual edition of the awards, which were carried live on the event’s namesake video channel.

Abdul’s live vocals were inevitably even more thin than her likeably girlish recorded crooning, but a routine that began with a spirited tap dance and ended with a crew of motley kiddies stepping up a storm rendered all attention to actual vocals moot.

Also putting on the rhythmic ritz, with real precision and surrounded by two fellow dancers per, were the mockingly self-worshipful Madonna (opening the show with “Express Yourself”) and the less mockingly narcissistic Bobby Brown. Less impressive were minimally choreographed rug-cutting appearances by Cher (baring nearly all, natch) and rapper Tone Loc (flashing his bulging tummy for a moment but otherwise baring minimal dancing skill).

Since most of the instrumentals were obviously canned--as if there weren’t enough lip-syncs and hand-syncs, even Abdul’s celebrated tap dance was in fact a toe-sync--all these fast moves provided most of the real excitement of the show, which was gamely cheer-led for the second year in a row by obsequious host Arsenio Hall.

Some live playing was evident--Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi did a couple of pretty acoustic numbers (“Livin’ on a Prayer” and “Wanted Dead or Alive”), their self-mythologizing hard-rock cowboy lingo somehow less noxious from guys sitting on stools than from guys strutting. And the Cure and Cher’s band seemingly had their instruments turned on. The surprise finale had Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers joined by Guns N’ Roses’ Axl Rose for duets of “Free Fallin’,” an excellent Petty ballad that Rose had trouble fitting into, and a raved-up “Heartbreak Hotel,” which brought out the famous Axl screech. Softer-headed were the tape-bound hard rockers Def Leppard and a ridiculous-looking Cult of no personality.

As further proof that this was not Memorex, there was infamous I-hate-chicks-ha-ha comedian Andrew Dice Clay, who lapsed into his usual foul-mouthed misogyny--much to the alleged surprise of the producers. (Home viewers missed the amusing sight of producer Dick Clark coming onto the stage and glaring at Clay from 10 paces during the monologue.) MTV VP Barry Kluger issued an apology backstage and decreed Clay’s banishment from the channel, saying that “Clay did not do this in rehearsal and we were very surprised by it.”

These high-profile celebrity appearances are what the MTV Awards are about, not the statuettes themselves, which carry little of the prestige of the Grammys. (Quick, ask the kid down your block who won for “Best Post-Modern.”) The show is interesting mostly for its lineup and as a gauge of how increasingly savvy MTV is about being all things to all teens--blacks as well as whites, in contrast to the channel’s notoriously lily-white early days. Still, there were noteworthy surprises among the prizes themselves:

No one can claim that the awards are stacked by MTV after the win given by the 700-plus industry voters to Neil Young’s “This Note’s for You” in the highly regarded best video category. This was, after all, the controversial piece of satire that brought the cable channel a flood of bad publicity--and enmity from Young--for its refusal to air the video until very late in its shelf life.

Another upset came in the male video category, which went to Elvis Costello for his stunning, touching “Veronica” clip despite more commercial contenders like Bobby Brown and Steve Winwood.

Among the other winners: Living Colour picked up three awards for best group, stage performance and new artist. George Michael received the “Video Vanguard” award for career achievement. Madonna’s clips claimed prizes for cinematography, direction and art direction, in addition to her “People’s Choice” award for “Like a Prayer,” voted by callers during the telecast.