It’s Easy to Dance to, and That’s the Problem

The Kingsmen’s ‘60s hit, “Louie, Louie,” not only is a rock classic, the University of South Carolina is afraid it might bring the house down.

University officials told opponents’ marching bands not to play “Louie, Louie” at its football stadium for fear that the 75-year-old structure might collapse under dancing fans.

South Carolina’s marching band last played the song during a game against Nebraska in 1986. Fans in the east upper deck of the Williams-Brice Stadium caused the stadium to sway. However, studies performed after the Nebraska game showed the stadium to be safe.

“Structurally, if you’ve got the whole student body out there jumping up and down constantly for 75 years, you might have some metal fatigue,” said John Trussell, assistant director for the Insurance Reserve Fund, which insures the stadium. “But with only six or eight games a year, it will fall down from old age long before that.”

Hold the anchovies: A federal judge has ordered former Utah wide receiver Cedric Riles back to jail, rejecting Riles’ claim that he recently tested positive for cocaine because someone had sprinkled the drug on his pizza.

Riles was charged last summer with nine counts of distributing cocaine. Shortly after he was transferred to a federal treatment center on Aug. 22, he tested negative for drugs. But on Aug. 25, Riles tested positive for cocaine. At a hearing Sept. 13, Riles told U.S. Magistrate Ronald N. Boyce that another resident, who eventually escaped from the center, was seen with a white bag near a pizza.

“The inference that the defendant seeks to have drawn is that a now-escaped resident had cocaine and was willing to drop $25 to $30 of cocaine in the pizza as a joke,” Boyce wrote in his decision.

The secret square: From Tim Kurkjian of the Baltimore Sun: “When Steve Lyons of the Chicago White Sox plays first base, he always draws a Tic-Tac-Toe board in the dirt near first base. He says he plays against the other first basemen in the league.

“ ‘They’ve all played me except Fred McGriff and Randy Milligan,” Lyons said. “ ‘I don’t think they know how.’ ”

It’s going to be a long season: David Aldridge of the Washington Post reports that Pat Williams, the Orlando Magic’s president and general manager, called the National Basketball Assn. expansion team’s first summer league game at a community college a “must-win” situation.

On this date: On Sept. 20, 1968, Mickey Mantle of the New York Yankees hit his last home run in the major leagues, with the bases empty against Jim Lonborg of the Boston Red Sox. Mantle, a Hall of Famer, finished with 536 homers.

Trivia time: Which National Football League team has the lowest player salary average?

Cup runneth over: After the New York Supreme Court awarded the America’s Cup to New Zealand last March, George Tompkins Jr., the New York lawyer who has represented New Zealander Michael Fay in his legal fight for sailing’s most coveted trophy, arrived home to find a new Jaguar in his garage. It was a gift from Fay and his merchant banking partner, David Richwhite.

Now that the the decision has been overturned and the Cup returned to the San Diego Yacht Club, will Tompkins have to give back the Jag?

Fans mugged: USA Today reports that the mugs the Yankees gave away on Fan Appreciation Day featured 10 faces that are no longer with the club, including that of fired manager Dallas Green.

Trivia answer: The 0-2 Pittsburgh Steelers, $153,000, according to Sport magazine.

Quotebook: Tom Watson of the U.S. Ryder Cup team, on next weekend’s match at the Belfry in Sutton Coldfield, England: “Four years ago, there was cheering for our bad shots. At least we are prepared for it this time. I think it really affected some of our players (in 1985).”