Chick’s: In a Rotisserie League by Itself

So this press release comes in the mail and--eureka!--you discover that the World’s Largest Hand-Made Rotisserie Oven is not in Buenos Aires or Laredo but in, by gosh, Woodland Hills.

Pretty soon you’re staring at a monster copper vessel that looks like a prop from “Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea,” only it’s filled with chickens spinning dizzily. So you remember that this is Chick’s, an eat-in, take-out place, not some diorama at a Jacques Cousteau museum, and you go in.

Now you’re in line and, unsolicited, people start telling you “the chickens are fabulous here.” There are lines each time you’re there, but nobody seems to mind and when someone offers you a slice of the rotisserie-cooked honey ham, neither do you. Particularly since that ham is sweet and crusty and really significantly less fatty and salty than normal, just like the menu says. You recall that the press release kept mentioning “healthful dining,” “wholesomeness” and the American Heart Assn.

You study the menu more carefully and see that there’s no asterisk (indicating American Heart Assn. approval) in front of the $4.99-per-pound ham so you do penance by ordering the *tacos asados (a little fiesta of shredded lean beef with smoky potatoes, grilled onions, cilantro and a dash of chile pepper, $1.75 each), the *chicken fajitas (overmarinated with a big, honking green pepper taste and side of runny guacamole, $5.95), and the *rotisserie chicken, which turns out to be that perfect combination of crisp skin and moist, tender meat.

The specialty of the house--the no additives, no hormones chicken--is served by the quarter (with side dishes), the half (with side dishes or a la carte ) or whole. Eat a whole bird in the restaurant and you pay $9.99; order one to-go and it’s $8.99.

Chicken is not the only bird at Chick’s. Twelve- and 16-pound turkeys, at $44.99 and $54.99, can be found twirling around in the giant avocado and eucalyptus firewood-fueled cooker. You order one 24 hours ahead, as protocol demands, and have a succulent series of meals. The big bird is tenderly marinated and lightly spiced, with great crackling skin. A good source for Thanksgiving. (Note: If you’re salt-sensitive, ask your order-taker to go easy on the breast seasoning.)

Perhaps barbecued pork does not thrill the council of cardiologists, but take-outers with a yen for meat would be happy with the side of smooth-sauced, tasty and lean baby-back ribs, though there’s not terribly much meat. (At dinner, $9.99 buys nine or 10 ribs and one side order.) Beef ribs with the same gentle sauce are chewy. Imagine pot roast on a stick. (For $7.69 you get an order of ribs only; $8.25 gets you four ribs plus one side dish.)

But if the barbecue ribs aren’t perfect, you’re happy that you ordered the barbecue soft tacos, both the rotisseried chicken and beef versions (two for $4.59). They’re tangy, piled high with meat and very, very fresh. Waffled French fries, cut like a grid, are crisp and grease-free. Rotisserie-baked potatoes are good and crusty, though they come with margarine (there’s no butter in them thar hills) and an imitation sour cream and chives. Beautiful bright disks of marinated carrots sport an American Heart validation, but their acidic marinade deserves only a black mark. Baked beans are ordinary; cole slaw and potato salad are light, fresh and as real as any pedigreed delicatessen variant in town.

One more thing. If you start watching the handle of the World’s Largest Hand-Made Rotisserie Oven turn over and over again as you wait for your order, prepare to get hypnotized.

Chick’s, 23355 3/4 Mulholland Drive, Woodland Hills; (818) 704-6733. Open Monday-Saturday 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m., Sunday 12:30 p.m.-9 p.m. Cash and checks only. Delivery service available within a six-mile radius with a $15 minimum order ($2-$3 fee). Parking available.