The Restaurant Wine Wars--Too Many Unhappy Returns

When is it acceptable to send wine back at a restaurant? The answer is simple: when there is a flaw in the wine--oxidation, “corky” character, lack of carbonation (in the case of sparkling wines), and so on. It is not acceptable to send wine back simply because you don’t like it.

True connoisseurs rarely return wines, but there are people who make a habit of it. Piero Selvaggio, of Valentino, tells of one recent customer who ordered a bottle of 1987 Chalone chardonnay--which, he adds charitably, is “a bit numb” right now. (In fact it’s downright weird, in my opinion--and Times wine critic Dan Berger recently called it “bizarre”--but that’s another story.) In any case, the host tasted the wine and liked it fine. When a second bottle was ordered and poured, though, he didn’t like it, and sent it back. “I tasted it,” says Selvaggio, “and it was exactly what it should have been. There was nothing wrong with it at all.” To make matters worse, the same man next ordered a bottle of 1965 Amarone--a curious Italian wine type, definitely an acquired taste, that is by definition alcoholic and raisiny--and that, in this case, might well have been too old. “I tried to suggest something else,” Selvaggio reports, “but that was what he wanted. And, of course, he said it was terrible and sent it back. When I suggested that it was exactly what it was supposed to be, he replied that he had a cellar full of wine and knew perfectly well when wine was no good.” He refused to pay for the wines.

On another occasion, Selvaggio adds, a customer ordered a particularly expensive bottle, a 1975 Romane-Conti priced at $190, and sent it back. Then he ordered a 1973 version of the same wine, at the same price, and sent it back too. Again, Selvaggio suggested that the wines were exactly what could have been expected. Again, the customer replied that he had a cellar full of wines, and knew perfectly well what Romane-Conti was supposed to taste like. He would not pay for either bottle.

Many restaurants are reluctant to alienate their customers, and will take back a wine even if it’s perfectly sound; it’s simply a matter of good public relations. If the wines in question are relatively inexpensive the restaurant might be able to absorb the losses. With pricey older wines it becomes more difficult.

What can customers do to avoid getting unwanted wines in the first place? The safe solution is simply to stick with wines you know. Otherwise, seek advice from knowledgeable restaurant personnel. And, maybe most of all, don’t buy expensive wines if you don’t know what they taste like. A lot of big-name wines are junk. For instance, I wouldn’t pay 190 cents for a bottle of ’73 or ’75 Romane-Conti myself. It might bear one of the most famous and revered names in winedom, but there’s more true wine character--and more drinking pleasure to be had--in the average Beaujolais Nouveau. And almost nobody sends back Beaujolais Nouveau.

RESTAURANT DATEBOOK: Carluccio and Davide Brovelli, proprietors of the acclaimed Ristorante del Sole in Ranco, will present a special luncheon featuring recipes and wines from their establishment at noon Saturday, at Citrus on Melrose. The tariff is $55 per person. . . . And Chez Melange in Redondo Beach hosts its fifth annual “For Our Children” benefit next Sunday, from 3 to 6 p.m. More than 50 restaurants--including such high-profile places as Campanile, Celestino’s, Citrus, Fennel, Locanda Veneta, Patina, Rebecca’s, St. Estephe, and Tulipe--will offer food samples, and more than 20 wineries will pour their goods. Tickets are $65, and are sold only in advance. Information: (213) 540-1222.