Anyone Who’s Not Into Paradise Need Not Apply

Ever dream about working for a cruise ship, a white-water rafting outfit or a lush resort on a tropical island?

How about Aquasplash on the French Riviera; Pico Ski Resort in Stowe, Vt.; Looking Glass Submarine

Cruises in Bermuda or Cruiser Bob’s Original Haleakala Downhill in Maui?

If you’ve ever fantasized about a job in paradise, Jeffrey Maltzman, a 29-year-old San Diego attorney, has a book for you: “Jobs in Paradise: The Definitive Guide to Exotic Jobs Everywhere” (580 pages, $10.95).

The idea came to Maltzman while he was finishing Stanford Law School. He was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.

“When you work on a cruise ship, you get asked about a million times a day: ‘How do you get a great job like this?’ ”

One thing led to another, and Maltzman began traveling for a year of research. He wrote the book while skipping from St. Thomas to Lake Tahoe to the Florida Keys to the South Pacific and back again. Dirty work, but somebody’s got to do it.

The chapters tell the story: High Adventure, Mountains, Tropical Islands, Snow & Skiing, Coasts & Beaches, Rivers, Lakes, Deserts, Tour Escorts, Amusement & Theme Parks and, of course, Cruise Ships.

“There’s a myth that all the good jobs are taken,” Maltzman said. “The truth is that there is a real shortage of seasonal labor in places like Cape Cod, the beach resorts, the Caribbean and, to some extent, the West Coast.”

Maltzman, who made 167 cruises in eight years, figures he won’t be shipping out again as an activities director. But he hasn’t ventured too far.

He’s practicing cruise-ship law for the San Diego firm of Lillick & McHose.

Record Bashing

The local rumble.

- If you thought the race to fill Lucy Killea’s Assembly seat would be sedate, think again.

Republican attorney Helen Rowe will announce her candidacy next week at her Mission Hills home. She promises to take the fight directly to the front-runner: Democrat and former City Councilman Mike Gotch.

“Mr. Gotch is rather notorious in this district,” she says, “and I expect to be talking about his record in loud and frequent tones.”

She cites continued pollution of Mission Bay during Gotch’s two terms, as well as Gotch’s support of the Belmont Park shopping center despite community opposition.

- Cesar Chavez and Ed Asner are scheduled to speak at a Newspaper Guild rally next Friday to protest stalled contract negotiations at the Union-Tribune.

The noon rally will start at the Stardust Hotel and end with a march on the U-T. Folksinger Sam Hinton and various politicians will also be there.

- Times reporter H. G. Reza just received a plaintive letter from an inmate at Soledad asking for help in his damage suit against a company that sells cherry pies to the prison system.

The inmate claims he broke his jaw when he bit down on a cherry pit.

His name is Chester Pitts. His case is Pitts vs. Luv-Ly Pie Co.

- Paul Simms, deputy county health director, doesn’t pull punches when talking to the young about using condoms: “No glove, no love.”

Approach the Grate, Please

Other rooms, other items.

- The space-starved Superior Court has rented two more rooms at the Hotel San Diego for use as makeshift courtrooms by newly sworn judges. One room has a dance floor, one has a fireplace.

The room with the fireplace, says Presiding Judge Judith McConnell, is “only for cases with burning issues.”

- The estimate for the remodeling ordered by City Council Members Linda Bernhardt, John Hartley and Judy McCarty for their City Hall offices is now in: a total of $150,000.

Their budget request goes to the council Feb. 6; look for hard-edged questions from their colleagues.

- I missed Grossmont Hospital’s open house to celebrate the first anniversary of its hyperbaric chamber. I hear it was a gas, though.