Time spent on the freeway isn’t necessarily...

Time spent on the freeway isn’t necessarily wasted, despite what some critics of Southern California say. First, an automobile trip is the ideal opportunity to shape up your body, as two Northridge authors made clear in “Commuter Calisthenics” a couple of years ago. The book outlined 70 on-the-road exercises, from the two-handed ceiling push (not recommended at high speeds or in convertibles) to the seat-belt sit-up.

And now, for the motoring chef, comes “Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine.”

Among the recipes offered by authors Chris Maynard and Bill Scheller is “Melrose Avenue Chicken,” a chicken-olive oil concoction that should be wrapped in aluminum foil (thoroughly), placed on a suitably hot part of the engine surface (they prefer the exhaust manifold) and cooked “for one hour, turning when halfway done.”

(Thus, if you throw your Melrose Chicken on the engine as you head out for Thousand Oaks from downtown L.A. in rush-hour traffic, it would probably be best to exit in Encino to flip it. More sophisticated chefs might want to consider the purchase of a Mazda equipped with a rotisserie engine.)

The authors point out that since Angelenos “spend a good part of each day in their cars,” anyway, engine cooking (in lieu of restaurant dining) will enable them to save “money that would be better spent on real estate.”

Then there’s the energy-savings angle. This form of cuisine gives new meaning to the phrase, “cooking with gas.”

It could rank as the most unusual taped replay of the basketball season.

On Sunday, several viewers called CBS to complain that a Laker ball boy had flashed a gang sign during a break in the Lakers-Celtics game at the Forum.

Laker officials confronted the teen-ager, who admitted only that he had given the Celtics a one-finger salute.

Gang experts from the Inglewood Police Department were asked to referee the matter. They watched a videotape and ruled that the gesture was a gang sign.

“The incident is very regrettable and quite obviously does not reflect the feelings of the Lakers players, fans or organization,” said Forum spokesman Bob Steiner.

The ball boy, Steiner added, “will not be back.”

Thad Taylor, who founded the Shakespeare Society of America in 1964 and created West Hollywood’s Globe Playhouse in 1972, first tried to get The Bard a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame 13 years ago.

Lord, what fools these mortals be.

The quest is hopeless, and not because some critics have charged that everyone from Christopher Marlowe to Neil Simon wrote plays credited to Shakespeare.

The main problem is that Walk of Fame politics conspire against the dead playwrights society. Hollywood prefers personalities who are willing and able to appear at the star-unveiling ceremonies. Alas, long-gone Will can’t supply a “photo opportunity.”

But on Tuesday, Terry Tamminen did stand in for The Bard as he unveiled a plaque for Shakespeare outside the Globe. Makes you wonder how the boy would have done if only he’d had an agent.