The Extent of Family Violence and Reluctance to Report It

As a family counselor who has attempted to help victims of domestic violence, I must applaud Dianne Klein’s excellent article (Feb. 18). The message is long overdue: Family violence is a crime that knows no economic boundaries. In fact, affluence exacerbates the problems.

Why do battered women refuse to file charges? Is it, as some police continue to believe, that the women love the batterer? This claim denies the fact that we are talking about repeated beatings, about blackened eyes and ruptured spleens and broken bones--a concentration camp-type of existence.

In reality there are three primary reasons why battered women refuse to file charges. Foremost is fear of retaliation. Retaliation may be in the form of harsher beatings, perhaps even murder. Murder is not inconceivable, as evidenced by recent spousal homicides in New Jersey, Massachusetts and California.

If physical fear can be put to rest, there still remain very real economic fears--particularly when there are dependent children. The family with little income and the family on welfare do not suffer the drastic life style change that befalls affluent families. If mother and children flee, where will they live? How will they live? How much of their life style will they sacrifice? How much of their economic security will they forfeit?

The third handicapping fear is more readily addressed--the damaged self-worth of victims. By the time such a family comes to the attention of authorities, victims may have so little self-esteem that they cannot envision light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. Compassionate, understanding therapists have succeeded in helping victims regain what is inherently theirs: dignity, integrity, self-worth.

In the past month, I have read about two local wife killings and one newly enacted piece of legislation intended to protect abused children. This innovative law, rather than remove the child from the home, is designed to remove the abusive parent.

But before we celebrate the intent, we must question: Will this law be enforceable if the other parent, prompted by fear, denies the child’s complaint? If there is evidence--bruise marks--to counter the adults’ disavowal, will the district attorney file charges on behalf of the child? What if the abusive parent is a “pillar of the community” with a six-figure income? How often will the law hesitate to evict a batterer in a three-piece suit?

Any law is only as good as those empowered to enforce it. Without enforcement, we will remain the land of the free, and the home of the brave--two distinctly separate groups.

GLORIA L. WOLK

Irvine