When It Comes to Blind Justice, Umpire’s Sight Is Always 20/20

Dave Hagler, program director for the Los Angeles Sports and the Law chapter, is a former referee and umpire who tells the ultimate turnabout-is-fair-play story:

“I was driving too fast in the snow in Boulder, Colo., and a policeman pulled me over and gave me a speeding ticket. I tried to talk him out of it, telling him how worried I was about insurance, etc., and he said I should go to court and try to get it reduced or thrown out.

“The first game of the next baseball season, I’m umpiring behind home plate and the first batter up is the same policeman. I recognize him, he recognizes me. He asks me how the thing went with the ticket. I tell him, ‘Swing at everything.’ ”

Just asking: If the position of catcher is so demanding, how is it that Bob Boone, Carlton Fisk and Rick Dempsey, all in their 40s, are still playing?

Add Boone: The Philadelphia Phillies gave up on him in 1981 when he was 34. He will make more money this year with Kansas City, $1.9 million, than he made in all 10 years in Philadelphia.

Trivia time: Nolan Ryan had the most strikeouts of any major league pitcher in the 1980s. Who was second?

Now-it-can-be-told dept.: Jim Palmer and Joe Morgan, newest members of the baseball Hall of Fame, were adversaries in the 1977 All-Star game at Yankee Stadium. Morgan tagged Palmer for a leadoff home run.

Palmer: “I went 3-and-2 on Morgan. I knew--and this is what made him as great as he is--if I walked him, and if he felt good, he’d steal second. If he really felt good, he’d steal third. A walk to Joe Morgan was a triple, so I took the stupid way out. I threw him a low fastball, and he hit it about 311 feet.”

Deflation: Said Tom Lasorda as he signed baseballs at an autograph show: “This signature may not be worth much now, but five years from now it will be worth less.”

Roomies: From Burt Graeff of the Cleveland Plain Dealer: “Collectively, San Antonio rookies David Robinson and Sean Elliott will earn about $5 million this season. While most NBA players pay the added expense of having a single room on the road, Robinson and Elliott save about $38 a night by doubling up.

Said Coach Larry Brown: “I think Sean does it because he likes David. David does it because he likes money.”

Dennis, beware: If Loyola Marymount’s Hank Gathers fails to make it in the NBA, it won’t be for lack of confidence. He told USA Today: “Whoever gets me will be very lucky. I’m a scorer--not a shooter. I can put the ball on the floor. I’m a Dennis Rodman type, but I’d eat Dennis Rodman alive. I’m a hell of a player and I know it.”

Trivia answer: The Dodgers’ Fernando Valenzuela.

Quotebook: Dick Vitale, asked the biggest surprise of his life: “When my wife said, ‘I do.’ ”