They Just Have to Make Sure He Doesn’t Get to Eat First

They call him Conan the Destroyer and his appetite is legend. He’s Brian Conlan, an all-star offensive lineman from South Delta High School in Delta, British Columbia. He’s headed for the University of Washington.

Says Conlan: “One time my mom cooked this big roast chicken and set it down on the table. Boy, was she surprised when I ate the whole thing.”

His mother then watched him go through several helpings of rice, pasta and bread, all washed down with a quart of milk.

Says Washington Coach Don James: “Obviously what we like about him is that he doesn’t have to get a whole lot bigger.”

Conlan is 6-5 and 285.

Yuk, yuk: Bob Weiss, assistant coach of the Orlando Magic, was a teammate of Utah Coach Jerry Sloan when Sloan was named to six All-NBA defensive teams while playing with the Chicago Bulls. Weiss said Sloan, in his prime, could handle Michael Jordan.

Really?

“Of course.” Weiss said. “Jordan would have been 12 then.”

Add Jordan: Asked after the last Chicago-Boston game if he thought Larry Bird had lost a step, he did a double-take and said, “He scored 38.”

Trivia time: What do Arnold Palmer, Hugh McElhenny and Elvis Presley have in common? Historic shot: Adding to his accomplishments on the tour, Gary Player the golf architect says, “I was the first golfer to hit a ball over the River Kwai.”

Player told the Atlanta Journal that he’s building his own bridge across the river in Thailand where Alec Guiness and William Holden emoted so brilliantly in the movie, “Bridge Over the River Kwai.”

Oh, by the way, the shot carries 120 yards.

Homebody: The most productive player in baseball? How about Bip Roberts, utility man for the San Diego Padres? Last year, he scored 81 runs in only 329 at-bats. Give him 600 at-bats and you get 148 runs.

Golden harvest: The most productive draft in NFL history? How about Pittsburgh’s in 1974? The Steelers landed Lynn Swann, Jack Lambert, John Stallworth and Mike Webster.

He plays Bach, too: San Antonio Spur Coach Larry Brown, on David Robinson: “This is no ordinary kid. Asked why he blocked a shot, or defended a player so well, he says, ‘Well, I couldn’t let them drive the lane with impunity.’ When was the last time you heard that?”

Scavengers: Said football Coach Mike Kelly of Division III Dayton after the conclusion of Division I recruiting: “The big dogs finished eating. Now, we’re out to pick at the bones.”

Never enough: Billie Jean King told the New York Times: “The only thing I regret is not making more money at the end of my career. One time I had some exhibitions lined up against Chris Evert at $100,000 a match, but Chris said she didn’t want to lose to me in exhibitions at that stage of her career. I understood, but that would have been good money.”

Trivia answer: All three were called The King.

Quotebook: Senior golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez: “We have three tours. The senior tour, the super-senior tour and the Lee Trevino tour.”