With a Name Like That, You Take It One Syllable at a Time

Ara Parseghian, former Notre Dame football coach, is proud of his name, but he admits life would have been simpler had he been named Smith or Jones.

He told Gus Schrader of the Cedar Rapids Gazette: “Most people have trouble remembering the name Parseghian. So I told one emcee how to remember it. The first syllable is ‘Par,’ so remember golf. The second syllable is ‘segh,’ as in Seagrams. The third syllable is ‘yan,’ like a Chinese name.

“When the guy introduced me, he said, ‘I can’t remember his name, but here is that drunken Chinese golfer.’ ”

What a memory: Phil Rizzuto and Bill White, now president of the National League, had some memorable exchanges when they shared a radio booth at Yankee Stadium. The death of former major league manager Johnny Neun last week brought to mind this exchange:

White: “I think Johnny Neun used to be a Yankee manager.”

Rizzuto: “You must be kidding. I didn’t know that.”

(Neun managed the Yankees for 14 games in 1946. The shortstop was Phil Rizzuto.)

Add exchanges: Rizzuto: “Reggie’s home run has gone clear out of the ballpark.”

White: “Actually, Scooter, that ball landed in the seats.”

Rizzuto: “It doesn’t matter. They can’t see it anyway at home.”

Trivia time: What major league pitcher threw the most shutouts in the 1980s? (Answer below.)

Big difference: From Walter Matthau, claiming that baseball players have it all wrong when they compare themselves to actors: “In the movies, the stars get all the money. The others get scale.”

What a pair: Said Stacey King of the Chicago Bulls after Wednesday night’s victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers, “I’ll always remember this as the night that Michael Jordan and I combined for 70 points.”

King scored one point.

Last straw: Do you understand the complicated formula the NFL uses to rate its quarterbacks? Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg Times doesn’t either, but he said, “If you need further proof that it’s the most stupid statistic in the history of sports, try this one: Tony Eason has replaced Johnny Unitas in the top 20 of the all-time ratings.”

Firing back: Before Jose Canseco and the Oakland Athletics came to terms, General Manager Sandy Alderson said that if they went to arbitration the club would bring up Canseco’s off-field escapades.

Canseco told the New York Times: “I don’t think that what I do off the field is Sandy Alderson’s business. I told him, ‘Why don’t you get the Pope to play right field. See if you can win the World Series then.’ ”

Power mad: If you had a .352 lifetime batting average, would you tinker with your swing? Wade Boggs would, and is.

He’s studying tapes from the 1987 season when he hit 24 home runs.

“I had a sweet swing that year and I lost it,” he said.

Maybe he’s getting it back. The next night he slugged a grand slam against the Minnesota Twins.

Trivia answer: Fernando Valenzuela, 27.

Quotebook: Bill Russell, basketball Hall of Famer: “I love exercise. I could watch it all day.”