Some Promoters Into Hype, but King Just Hyperventilates

Don King pulled out all the stops, and then some, at a news conference to promote the upcoming fight between Azumah Nelson and Pernell Whitaker.

King: “The true reality is we are African Americans. But this young kid Whitaker has only the seed of the heritage. He’s running up against a real animal out of the bush--a terrible warrior from Ghana. Azumah’s running through the jungle right now with a loin cloth. He’s wrestling tigers. Azumah will eat him up like a well-done steak or a raw piece of meat.”

Tigers? In Ghana? Maybe he wrestles them in the zoo.

Get the shovels: When Jack Nicklaus faced an impossible bunker shot during the PGA Seniors, USA cable analyst Peter Kostis said, “This situation might cause Jack to re-design this bunker.”

Nicklaus designed the course.

Limited warranty: Said TBS analyst Kevin Loughery as the ball came to Detroit’s Isiah Thomas in the final seconds against Atlanta Friday night: “I guarantee Isiah will shoot the ball.”

Isiah passed the ball. Dominique Wilkins picked it off and Atlanta won.

Trivia time: When John Long of the Atlanta Hawks came into the NBA, he played for the same coach he did in college. Who was it?

Funny guy: From Chicago White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf, revealing he won a $100 bet from George Steinbrenner on when the lockout would end: “He sent me 400 quarters in a jar of honey. I’ve got to figure a way to get the quarters out of the jar.”

Add Steinbrenner: Bob Quinn, the general manger of the Cincinnati Reds who served in the same capacity for the New York Yankees, told the Philadelphia Inquirer he used to start the day with the Serenity Prayer.

Quinn: “It goes, ‘God, grant me the serenity to to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’

“When I was with Steinbrenner, I started the day with serenity. I made up my mind I didn’t give a damn what he said to me. He could call me a no-good dummy every day. Hey, if I could survive him three years without drinking, the rest is downhill.”

Fantasy: Now that Tom Niedenfuer has signed a minor league contract with the St. Louis Cardinals, how’s this for a scenario: In a National League playoff game between the Dodgers and Cardinals, John Tudor and Niedenfuer combine for the win as Pedro Guerrero hits the game-winning homer for the Cardinals.

Cliche city: Ray Frager of the Baltimore Sun, on the debut of ESPN baseball analyst Bill Robinson: “Robinson said of a line drive to the outfield, ‘You could hang clothes on that one for about a week and a half.’ And Robinson could hang that kind of hackneyed description right alongside the laundry.”

Trivia answer: Dick Vitale (University of Detroit and Detroit Pistons).

Quotebook: Derek Harper of the Dallas Mavericks, on a new boutique opened by his wife, Sheila: “It’s her thing. Unless it takes off and makes a lot of money. Then it’s our thing.”