SHORT TAKES : And the No. 1 Reason, Dave . . .
Borrowing a gimmick from David Letterman’s late-night TV show, legislators adopted a resolution listing 10 reasons why he should broadcast live from Austin to celebrate a theater’s 75th anniversary.
A regular feature on “Late Night with David Letterman” is a Top 10 list, read in reverse order, spoofing various topics.
Among the reasons:
“9. No women in Austin currently claim to be married to or even a little bit interested in Mr. Letterman.
“6. A psychic channeler has determined that Mr. Letterman is the unwitting host for the spirit of our late President Lyndon Baines Johnson and that the oil bust will not be over until Dave brings Lyndon home.
“4. The Texas National Guard has agreed to keep Cher and Shirley MacLaine outside the city limits during Mr. Letterman’s stay, using excessive force if necessary.
“2. During his visit, the city’s 750,000 resident bats will perform the world’s largest stupid urban bat colony trick by re-creating the astrological sign of Mr. Letterman’s choice in the skies above Austin.
“1. Throughout his stay, Mr. Letterman will be officially addressed by all Texans as ‘The Great White Enchilada From Somewhere South of Poughkeepsie.’ ”
The resolution by Rep. Terral Smith invites Letterman to be the Legislature’s “honored guest” for the Paramount Theatre’s 75th anniversary.
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