About 200 residents of the 16-story Villa...

About 200 residents of the 16-story Villa Riviera in Long Beach are holding an invitation-only party Friday to celebrate a true California-type milestone for the 62-year-old landmark:

The completion of its seismic bolstering.

Have the Raiders’ apparently unsuccessful negotiations with the cities of Oakland, Sacramento, Irwindale and L.A. all been a smoke screen? Has the Raiders’ wily Al Davis secretly been bargaining with a fifth city all along?

We may find out today when Kagan Management Services Inc. holds a 3 p.m. press conference to unveil plans for “a 75,000-seat outdoor stadium” in the city of . . .



The latest entries to be accepted for our projected “Malathion Song Book"--a companion volume to our projected “Golden Treasury of Malathion Poems"--are:

Tim Smight’s “Medfly Hillbillies” (tune: “Beverly Hillbillies” theme), Randy Larscheid’s “Malathion Aisle” (tune: “Gilligan’s Island” theme), Carol Williams’ “Helicopters in the Morning” (tune: “Carolina in the Morning”) and Betty Darling’s “Poison from Hell” (tune: “Pennies from Heaven”).

We’re still not sure what to do with “The Lady Medfly’s Lament” (tune: “Humoresque”) by Jeff Williamson, which some radio stations might refuse to play because of its frank lyrics. It begins:

Every evening at Club Med, I drag some bozo off to bed . . .

Yes . . . well . . . we’ll have to skip to the tamer finish:

All the guys you meet these days have been exposed to gamma rays.

Their DNAs have been bent way out of line.

Those who’ve lost their insect-hood and cannot do me any good,

Need not pretend they’re any friends of mine.

You think vote-counting was slow in the old days. . . .

A Hollywood resident, seeking sample ballots, received a letter signed by L.A. County Registrar-Recorder Charles Weissburd that twice referred to “the June 6 primary election.”

Our calendar--and all those candidates’ ads--insist the election is Tuesday, June 5.

Responding to our plea for overlooked solutions to promote water conservation, Robert Dean of Sherman Oaks writes:

“Let’s return to the odd-even days of the mid-'70s gasoline crunch. Odd-numbered street addresses would have their water turned off on even-numbered days and vice-versa for the even-numbered households.

“We’d still have the lines outside the gas stations, but this time it would be people wanting to use the bathrooms.”


The last great train robbery in California was pulled near Saugus in 1928.