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About 200 residents of the 16-story Villa...

About 200 residents of the 16-story Villa Riviera in Long Beach are holding an invitation-only party Friday to celebrate a true California-type milestone for the 62-year-old landmark:

The completion of its seismic bolstering.

Have the Raiders’ apparently unsuccessful negotiations with the cities of Oakland, Sacramento, Irwindale and L.A. all been a smoke screen? Has the Raiders’ wily Al Davis secretly been bargaining with a fifth city all along?

We may find out today when Kagan Management Services Inc. holds a 3 p.m. press conference to unveil plans for “a 75,000-seat outdoor stadium” in the city of . . .

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Fontana.

The latest entries to be accepted for our projected “Malathion Song Book"--a companion volume to our projected “Golden Treasury of Malathion Poems"--are:

Tim Smight’s “Medfly Hillbillies” (tune: “Beverly Hillbillies” theme), Randy Larscheid’s “Malathion Aisle” (tune: “Gilligan’s Island” theme), Carol Williams’ “Helicopters in the Morning” (tune: “Carolina in the Morning”) and Betty Darling’s “Poison from Hell” (tune: “Pennies from Heaven”).

We’re still not sure what to do with “The Lady Medfly’s Lament” (tune: “Humoresque”) by Jeff Williamson, which some radio stations might refuse to play because of its frank lyrics. It begins:

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Every evening at Club Med, I drag some bozo off to bed . . .

Yes . . . well . . . we’ll have to skip to the tamer finish:

All the guys you meet these days have been exposed to gamma rays.

Their DNAs have been bent way out of line.

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Those who’ve lost their insect-hood and cannot do me any good,

Need not pretend they’re any friends of mine.

You think vote-counting was slow in the old days. . . .

A Hollywood resident, seeking sample ballots, received a letter signed by L.A. County Registrar-Recorder Charles Weissburd that twice referred to “the June 6 primary election.”

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Our calendar--and all those candidates’ ads--insist the election is Tuesday, June 5.

Responding to our plea for overlooked solutions to promote water conservation, Robert Dean of Sherman Oaks writes:

“Let’s return to the odd-even days of the mid-'70s gasoline crunch. Odd-numbered street addresses would have their water turned off on even-numbered days and vice-versa for the even-numbered households.

“We’d still have the lines outside the gas stations, but this time it would be people wanting to use the bathrooms.”

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MiscelLAny:

The last great train robbery in California was pulled near Saugus in 1928.


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