BEST BETS

We were moping around the house recently when our subconscious pulled up a chair. “Whatever you’re selling, we don’t want any part of it,” we said. “We’re blue enough as it is and it’s probably your fault. And even if you could help, we would feel pretty foolish standing here talking to you.” But it persisted, telling us it could assume any form we wished if that would make it easier. And in a blink, there stood our long-departed Aunt Mary, right down to the rolled nylons bunched around her ankles like two chocolate doughnuts. “Talk about foolish,” she said, putting on the kettle for tea. “We once fainted in a health food store, and when we came to someone had put a kohlrabi leaf on our forehead. Now that’s foolish.” And we laughed.

“Listen, boobala, let’s get down to cases,” she said, and proceeded to read our mind. “You want music, head down to Santa Monica’s Folk & Jazz ’90 celebration.” The event, being held today from noon to 8 p.m. on the Third Street Promenade, will feature performers Michelle Shocked, Dave Alvin, Rosie Flores, the Teddy Edwards Quartet, Katy Moffatt and the Phil Salazar Band. Admission is free.

“Yes, well, peace in the world, that would be something,” Aunt Mary said, reading our mind again. “You would think that Lyndon fellow would finally make peace.” We told her George Bush now occupied the White House. She blinked and slurped some tea. “Whatever,” she said, and offered us a public forum on the Middle East crisis being held at 7:30 p.m. Monday at UCLA’s Dickson Auditorium. The discussion is part of a three-day gathering of Middle East experts from the Soviet Union, Arab nations, Israel and the United States. “Sometimes just talking is balm for the boo-boo,” she said.

“A little dancing, that’s the ticket, “ Aunt Mary said, so she told us about the Rose Polsky Dance Co. presenting an outreach performance for senior citizens on Wednesday at 2 p.m. at St. Augustine’s Church, 1227 4th St., Santa Monica. Admission is free. We got up and cut another piece of crumb cake for ourself, and when we turned around Aunt Mary was gone, leaving us sad and happier at the same time.