Now That’s What You Might Say Is Quite a Conference Call

More than a few administrative types are wondering where the trend toward super-conferences in college football is headed. But Dennis Farrell, associate commissioner of the Big West Conference, is on top of the situation.

Said Farrell: “I like the idea of Texas, Texas A&M;, BYU and Fresno State joining the Pac-10. They can call it the Big Southwest WAC-PAC.”

Trivia time: Which National League player has been with his team the longest?

X-competitor: Washington Post columnist Tony Kornheiser, writing from the U.S. Open on how he’ll miss Jimmy Connors’ courtside banter, re-created a sample: “You (expletive) (expletive) are an (expletive) (expletive)! No (expletive) way, you (expletive) banana. Get (expletive) royally, and tell your (expletive) (expletive) (expletive) to leave me a dry towel.”

The future is scary: Cal State Long Beach Coach George Allen, when asked about his football team’s opening game Saturday at Clemson, told Bob Burns of the Sacramento Bee:

“I’ve never played a game I didn’t think we could win. . . . However, I’ve never played a game where we were 58-point underdogs.

“We’ll go in there with the idea that we can win, but we also have to be realistic. Clemson could win the national championship. If we can come out of that game without being battered . . . I hate to even talk that way. What if you had a son who was going to play in that game?”

Add Allen: When he arrived at Long Beach, one of the first details he attended to was the team’s helmet logo. He changed it from “49ers” to “Long Beach State.”

Said Allen: “We should have something on our helmets that gives us a Long Beach identification. I don’t want Long Beach State mistaken with the San Francisco 49ers.”

Good to get that settled.

Mixed emotions: With Green Bay Packer quarterback Don Majkowski continuing his holdout, his stand-in, Anthony Dilweg, recently said he was looking forward to the season with the excitement of “a 6-year-old on Christmas morning, but with the maturity of a 25-year-old.”

Sultan of Swap: Imagine the nerve of Scott Hasemeier. Monday he walked into Bud’s Baseball Cards, a memorabilia shop in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., and tried to sell a ball autographed by Babe Ruth.

The shop’s owners recognized the $6,000 treasure as the property of Neil Whitefield, whose home was burglarized Aug. 17.

But Hasemeier, 30, figured he had his bases covered. He told the shop owners he got the ball in a trade--for crack cocaine.

Police told the Associated Press that when Hasemeier was arrested, he was wearing one of Whitefield’s shirts. They charged him with possessing and dealing stolen property and returned the ball to Whitefield.

Trivia answer: Terry Puhl of the Houston Astros. He signed as a free agent on Sept. 19, 1973.

Quotebook: Golfer Bruce Lietzke, on the complex scoring system in the recent International tournament: “I just tee it up, play 18 holes, then ask my caddie if I’m playing tomorrow.”