Notes on a Scorecard - Sept. 4, 1990

Bound to happen in the National Football League this season:

The Raiders will announce that they will play all future home games in the state of California. . . .

Jeff George will be voted rookie of the year and justify the small ransom that the Indianapolis Colts paid the Atlanta Falcons for his draft rights. . . .

New England TV viewers will wish that the NFL scrambled all of the Patriots’ games. . . .

A prevent defense will prevent the defensive team from winning an important game. . . .

Broadcaster Hank Stram will call better plays from the press box than most coaches from the sidelines. . . .

The Dallas Cowboys will double their victory total of last season. . . .

Al Davis won’t make the Hall of Fame, but one of his former Raiders will. . . .

The more boring the game, the more frequent the wave. . . .

Eric Dickerson will be unhappy on the field, bench, and inactive list. . . .

Dan Reeves of the Denver Broncos won’t be recognized for what he is--the best coach in the league. . . .

Georgia Frontiere will set a record for most kisses thrown on the sidelines. . . .

Wagering will be at an all-time high despite the NFL ban on TV prognosticators. . . .

The run-and-shoot offense, directed by either Rodney Peete or Andre Ware, will make the Detroit Lions the most exciting team in the league. . . .

Elvis Presley won’t pick up the tickets left him at will call by Jerry Glanville. Neither will James Dean. . . .

An all-pro offensive tackle will have an awful season, but nobody will notice and he will be voted into the Pro Bowl again. . . .

Jim McMahon, varying his attack, will sneeze in the face of a Philadelphia reporter. . . .

Blitzing defenses will be the most effective. . . .

The extra week between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl won’t be missed. . . .

Boomer Esiason will replace another quarterback, Joe Montana, as player of the year. . . .

Every time the Miami Dolphins lose, people will say the game has passed Don Shula by. . . .

The most spectacular kick returns will be called back because of clipping or holding penalties. . . .

Two weeks before the playoffs, there will be 1,038 possible scenarios. . . .

Green Bay will realize that the magic is gone and re-sign Don Majkowski after two games. . . .

Ten players will be thrown out of a game for fighting, but the ball won’t be moved because the penalties will be offsetting. . . .

Coaches will have “mixed feelings” about their team’s off-week . . .

A small wide receiver who runs the 40 in 4.7 will be among the league leaders in pass receptions. . . .

Half the teams in the league will want to draft USC quarterback Todd Marinovich after his sophomore year. . . .

Critics won’t like him, but Joe Theismann will be one of the most informative TV commentators. . . .

Jim Kelly will not win the Mr. Congeniality balloting conducted by Buffalo Bill players. . . .

Nobody will be able to explain the quarterback ratings. . . .

A high school senior running back in Texas will forgo his four years of collegiate eligibility and enter the NFL draft. . . .

The Los Angeles Coliseum clock will break down. . . .

Quarterback sneaks won’t be called often enough on third-and-one situations. . . .

Some announcer will rave about a pass that “went 60 yards in the air” but was incomplete. . . .

Dan Marino won’t get sacked. . . .

The Minnesota Vikings will under-achieve. . . .

Buddy Ryan will give himself an “A”. . . .

Jay Schroeder will look great one moment and not-so-great the next. . . .

Timeouts called before field goal attempts to rattle the kicker won’t work. . . .

Randall Cunningham will be the most overrated quarterback in the league. . . .

Junior Seau will wish he were a senior. . . .

John Robinson will be the only coach who looks as though he’s enjoying his job. . . .

Thousands of words of hype will be written denouncing Super Bowl hype. . . .

The Bears will drive Mike Ditka to distraction and retirement. . . .

The divisions will be won by Denver, Cincinnati and New York Jets in the AFC and San Francisco, Detroit and the New York Giants in the NFC. Cincinnati will upset San Francisco in the Super Bowl.