Oregon State’s Hat Trick Impossible to Ignore

THE COLLEGES

They said it couldn’t be done. But Oregon State (0-3) managed to record consecutive losses to Montana, Kansas and Nevada Las Vegas to wrest the Bottom Ten lead from UCLA.

OSU settled the issue early against Vegas’ gambling defense, fumbling the first six times it had the ball in a 20-45 loss. Leave it to the Beavers.

Las Vegas, meanwhile, chalked up some bizarre stats of its own, missing all six of its conversion tries, while making three field goals.

Alabumble (0-2) moved up to No. 2, while the Big Ten made its annual appearance at No. 4. It’s sporting of the conference to have agreed to admit Penn State (0-2). Now, Northwestern (0-1) and Wisconsin (1-1) have someone to play with.

ROUT OF THE WEEK: Rutgers (2-0) over Penn State (0-2).

QUOTEBOOK (I): Cal State Fullerton Coach Gene Murphy, whose team lost at Mississippi State, 13-27, after arriving at midnight the day before the game: “We were outslept.”

QUOTEBOOK (II): Missouri Coach Bob Stull, whose team ended a five-game losing streak over two seasons with a 45-10 win over Utah State: “Some of the coaches even had trouble remembering the words to the fight song because we hadn’t won in a while.”

QUOTEBOOK (III): Northwestern’s Len Williams, who was listed as a fullback last year, reacted this way when told he’d be the team’s starting QB this season: “I was shocked.”

THE PROS

This--the fifth and final year of his contract--is the season Beagles’ brain Buddy Ryan promised he’d bring Philadelphia a title. While no team has ever started 0-2 and reached the Super Bowl, Ryan can take comfort in the fact that plenty have gone on to win the Bottom Ten title.

He’s no shoe-in for the BT trophy yet, but some critics are barking that the Beagles’ open date in the fifth week would be a convenient time to ax Ryan. One talk-show caller coined the phrase, “Buddy by the bye.”

And, just think--second-string QB Jim McMahon hasn’t even begun mouthing off yet! Then the fun’ll really begin!

So much for the Jerry Glanville era in Atlanta. The coach forgot to leave tickets at the window for his offense and the Falcon Crest team waltzed to a 14-21 loss to Detroit.

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Indianapolis (0-2) at Houston (0-2).

CONFIDENCE-BUILDER: Charger Coach Dan Henning, confirming that kicker Fuad Reveiz would be fired unless his accuracy improves Sunday: “It is a do or die week.”

RANKINGS

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Ore. St. (0-3) 20-45, UNLV Stanford 2. Alabumble (0-2) 13-17, Fla. Ga. 3. Athens (0-1) 35-51, Atlanta* 2000? 4. Penn St (0-2) 14-19, USC Rutgers 4. Ill (1-1) Def. Colo. 23-22 S. Ill. 4. Indiana (1-0) Def. Ky. 45-24 Missouri 4. Iowa (1-0) Def. Cincy, 63-10 Iowa St 4. Michigan (0-1) 24-28,Not.Dame UCLA 4. Mich St (0-0-1) T. Syra., 23-23 Notre Dame 4. Minn (1-1) D.IowaSt,20-16 Nebraska 4. Northwstrn (0-1) 24-27, Duke Rice 4. Ohio State (2-0) Def. B.C., 31-10 USC 4. Purdue (0-1) 14-20, Wa’ton Indiana St 4. Wis’n (1-1) Def. Ball St, 24-7 Temple

15. Kentucky (1-2); 16. Twenty-four scalpers nabbed by police outside Notre Dame’s stadium; 17. Stanford (0-2) and one tick of the clock behind . . . 18. UCLA (1-1); 19. Idle; 20. West Virginia fans who booed school’s first female mascot.

*IOC vote for site of 1996 Olympic Games.

RANKINGS

HOT SEAT DIVISION

Coach, Record Last Loss Next Loss* 1. B. Ryan (0-2) 21-23, Phoenix Rams 2. R. Meyer (0-2) 14-16, N. Eng Houston

*If he hasn’t been fired by then.

RUN AND BOOT DIVISION

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Seattle (0-2) 13-17 Raiders Denver 2. Houston (0-2) 9-20, Pitt Indy 3. Detroit (1-1) Def. Atl., 21-14 Tampa

WIMP DIVISION

Team, Record OTD* Next Loss 1. NO (0-2) 0 Phoenix 2. Pitt (1-1) 0 Raiders 3. Seattle (0-2) 1 Denver

*Touchdowns scored by offense.

Note: Radio station WMIX in New Orleans has asked fans to abstain from sex until the Saints score a touchdown.