Here Come Surrogate Santa Clauses : Christmas: Trained for the season, one- and two-pillow would-be St. Nicks will spend next month in the malls bringing yuletide cheer to thousands of kids.
I’m a one-pillow Santa.
It’s embarrassing to admit, since most of the others who enrolled with me in Santa School last weekend seemed slim and healthy-looking. Distinctly two-pillow types.
The 30 of us will climb into red-velvet, size-54 Santa suits today and travel to shopping malls across Los Angeles County to take up battle stations as surrogate Clauses. During the next month, we’ll lift thousands of starry-eyed, angel-faced children to our knees and listen to this generation’s Christmas wishes. But first, we had to be trained, and that took place last Saturday.
We were fed doughnuts and bagels as we met in a back room at the Del Amo Fashion Center for class. We learned the Santa Walk (a slow, smooth gait--like someone who’s spent many lifetimes squeezing down chimneys) and memorized a list of Santa Do’s and Don’ts (Do use an industrial-strength deodorant and breath mints. Don’t flirt.).
“Be natural,” said Santa instructor John McGill III. “Use your own voice. Lower your volume--not your tone--when you’re talking with the children. Kids can detect a phony voice. Santa is a real person. I’ve been doing this for six years.
“And I believe.”
McGill is a jolly, bearded truck driver from Long Beach. Each year, he takes a leave from his cross-country driving job so he can spend Christmas working as St. Nick.
This year, he has helped recruit 55 potential Santas like me to work in and around Los Angeles malls for Western Temporary Services. Nationwide, the agency will supply more than 3,000 of them to department stores and shopping centers.
McGill told us to greet each child individually, take plenty of time for our visit and end each conversation with an admonition such as “be sure to brush your teeth” or “get to bed on time.” Go light on the Ho! Ho! Hos!, we were told, as they have reduced many a timid child to tears. We were warned never to promise anything when youngsters reel off their Christmas wish lists.
“Watch the folks to see if they’re nodding at what the child is saying. Take your cue from them when a child mentions a toy,” he said. Santas never endorse toys, McGill explained, but Santas should study newspaper toy ads to know what children are talking about when they ask for the latest hot item.
There were frequent breaks during the four-hour training session--more rest periods, we were warned, than we’ll get once we settle in at the malls’ center courts.
“Help yourself to the doughnuts, gentlemen,” said Anthony Scovotto, a San Pedro shopping center promotions specialist who helped out at the class. “We want to put some weight on our Santas.”
My classmates, whose regular jobs range from welder to business consultant, were quick to adopt the holiday spirit. Most made it clear they are as interested in the Santa experience as in the Santa pay--as much as $7.50 an hour.
(My Santa salary is to be donated to charity by Western Temporary Services.)
Kevin Troutt, 19, a 6-foot, 165-pound college student from Hermosa Beach, took one look at the suit he would be wearing and saw an immediate need.
“I’m a four-pillow Santa,” he declared.
Dan Rogal, 45, a handyman from El Monte, wore a red Christmas sweater and a Santa-length blond beard to class.
“I’ll spray my beard white,” Rogal said. “It will be fun watching the kids’ reaction when they pull on it and find out it’s real.”
After viewing a videotape that showed such tips as how to deal with children who have wet their pants (Stand up, announce it’s time to feed the reindeer, then go change) we watched demonstrations of how to color our eyebrows white and correctly wear the Santa suit, beard, wig, gloves and glasses. Then came the role-playing part of the curriculum.
Student Santas Keith Rogers of Long Beach and Jim Branca of Playa del Rey sat on chairs while the rest of us took turns sitting on their knees. Most of us tried to stump the Santa by asking such questions as, “Who was that other Santa I saw a few minutes ago at the other mall?” (The correct answer: “That is one of my helpers.”)
Branca asked me if I’ve been a nice boy this year. I said yes, and told him I wanted a Milli Vanilli record album for Christmas. “ They’ve been the naughty boys!” Branca responded, a professional twinkle in his eye.
The class ended with a homework assignment. Each of us, McGill said, would be required to learn the names of Santa’s reindeer by today.
From around the room there arose a clatter: “Let’s see, there’s Dasher, Dancer . . .,” one student started.
“Rudolf and Vixen,” another chimed in.
“Secretariat,” came a voice from the back.
Santa Don’ts No smoking, flirting, or drinking Never promise anything Never show a bad mood Times staff writer Bob Pool has found work this season as a shopping mall Santa. He promises to deliver occasional reports.
