COLLEGE FOOTBALL / GENE WOJCIECHOWSKI : Even in a Bowl Game, Paterno Wants No Horsing Around

Memories of a 1990 season gone by:

--Penn State Coach Joe Paterno screaming at a horse.

The scene: The Blockbuster Bowl at Joe Robbie Stadium. Moments before the second half is to begin, Paterno notices that Renegade, Florida State’s mascot of sorts, has galloped onto the field for a quick run. Paterno nearly jumps out of his polyester coaching pants. He rants. He raves. So angry is the Nittany Lion coach, he demands that a 15-yard penalty be called against the Seminoles. For what? Illegal use of hoof?

--Orange Bowl President Art Hertz sweating bullets.

The scene: Neyland Stadium at Knoxville, Tenn. With less than three minutes remaining in its game against Tennessee, then-No. 1-ranked Notre Dame has a 34-23 lead. A jovial, relaxed Hertz stands on the sideline discussing with reporters his plans to invite the Irish to Miami for New Year’s Day.

Then Tennessee scores to cut the margin to five points. A two-point conversion attempt fails. Little beads of sweat begin to form on Hertz’s brow.

With 1:44 left, the Volunteers execute a perfect onside kick and recover at their 46-yard line. Hertz loosens his tie ever so slightly. A Notre Dame loss would ruin everything.

Five plays later, Tennessee is on the Irish 20. Hertz isn’t talking to reporters anymore. He has the look of someone ready to weep.

Salvation: Notre Dame intercepts a Volunteer pass. Hertz pretends as if nothing happened.

--ESPN college commentator Chris Fowler dodging bullets.

The scene: The Orange Bowl on New Year’s Eve. As part of its bowl coverage, the ESPN college football crew wears tuxedos and does its broadcast from the stadium, which isn’t exactly in the best part of town. Shortly after midnight, Fowler begins hearing pinging noises against Orange Bowl light poles. They noises are bullets.

--Raghib (Rocket) Ismail with a football in his hands.

The scene: Any of the 141 times he touched the ball this season. Even with the penalty flag thrown, Ismail’s 91-yard punt return against Colorado was the most electrifying play of the year.

--George Allen and his hip-hip-hoorays.

The scene: A Long Beach hotel ballroom. Allen, in his first news conference as Cal State Long Beach coach, becomes so excited that he actually leads a cheer at speech’s end. It is a surreal moment, more fitting of his days with the Washington Redskins. But guess what? With each corny hip-hip-hooray, a small collection of 49er officials and fans raise their arms and voices with him. Allen could do that to people.

Another year, another Who’s No. 1 Controversy. This time, the argument centers around the disagreement between the AP’s sportswriters and broadcasters, who chose Colorado No. 1, and UPI’s panel of coaches, which ranked Georgia Tech first.

Now then, does the controversy move college football any closer to a national playoff system?

Probably not.

“(The polls prove) that when you put it up to a vote, you can’t satisfy everybody,” Colorado Coach Bill McCartney says. “It can only be satisfying to everybody if you play it off. You could end all the problems with a playoff. But I don’t look for a playoff to come about.”

His reasons? The economic impact of the bowls. McCartney said he was told by Hertz that the 1990 Orange Bowl generated $100 million of spending in the South Florida area.

Lou Holtz says he is happy at Notre Dame, that he wants to stay at Notre Dame, that there isn’t a college coaching job better than the one he has at Notre Dame. Yet, the rumors persist that Holtz would entertain NFL offers from the coachless Cleveland Browns, New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Minnesota Vikings’ job also could become available.

So who or what to believe, Holtz or the rumors? We’ll give Holtz the benefit of the doubt, but as McCartney once said of his colleague: “Whatever he says, I’m sure he means. Except sometimes he changes his mind.”

Just in case Holtz does leave, we offer, free of charge, a list of possible replacement candidates to Irish Athletic Director Dick Rosenthal (as if he’d be thrilled):

1. Howard Schnellenberger, Louisville.

Schnellenberger oversaw the Miami Hurricanes’ football renaissance. He built the Louisville program from scratch. He has national championship experience, and his record is clean. What more could the Irish want?

2. Jack Bicknell, unemployed.

Fired by Boston College at season’s end, Bicknell is an excellent and underrated coach who would fit in perfectly at South Bend.

3. George Welsh, Virginia.

One of the most respected coaches in the business, Welsh has proven he can win anywhere, especially at a school that values academics over victories. Just think what he’d do at Notre Dame.

4. Bobby Ross, Georgia Tech.

Ross probably isn’t available, but, like Welsh, he is considered one of the best.

5. David Shula, Dallas Cowboys.

Why not? The Dallas assistant coach has the name, background, solid experience and youth and he’s Catholic, too.

And in case those numbers are busy, try: Bill Belichick, New York Giants defensive coordinator; Steve Spurrier, Florida; Dennis Green, Stanford, and Dick Sheridan, North Carolina State.

If there’s a worse 9-3 team than Nebraska, we’d like to see it. The Cornhuskers, masters of the buttercup schedule, played only three difficult opponents--Colorado, Oklahoma and Georgia Tech--and lost each game by significant margins (15, 35 and 24 points).

Worse yet, the loss to Georgia Tech on New Year’s Day extended their postseason winless streak to four. And in its last three bowl games, Nebraska has lost by a combined total of 109-41. Perhaps the Cornhuskers have learned their lesson. Next season, they will upgrade their nonconference schedule from Baylor, Northern Illinois, Minnesota and Oregon State to Utah State, Colorado State, Washington and Arizona State.

Other nominees for worst of the best: Ohio State (7-4-1), Illinois (8-4), USC (8-4-1) and our knucklehead preseason No. 1 choice, Auburn (8-3-1).

More things to remember about the 1990 season and beyond: Florida finished 9-2 with a new coach and without running back Emmitt Smith. . . . BYU’s Ty Detmer still deserved to win the Heisman Trophy. . . . Now that Clemson has finished 10-2 and No. 9 in the polls, Tiger followers aren’t so upset that Danny Ford left and Ken Hatfield arrived. . . . Heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield is 1-0 in pregame speeches. He addressed the Colorado team before it beat Notre Dame.

Looking for six teams to battle for the national championship next season? Try Florida State, Texas (if running back Butch Hadnot remains academically eligible), Washington, Syracuse, Clemson and Florida. . . . Most forgettable pre-bowl game quote came from Colorado’s McCartney. “If we win the (Orange Bowl), we’re going to be national champions.” He was half right. . . . Runner-up honors go to Miami cornerback Roland Smith, who told the Miami Herald that the Hurricanes’ bad-boy image no longer existed. “We are trying to be gentlemen, but people just won’t let the stigma die.” Miami set a Cotton Bowl record Tuesday with 16 penalties (nine of them for personal fouls or unsportsmanlike conduct) for 202 yards. The behavior prompted Miami officials to review the matter.

Our final top 10: (1) Colorado, (2) Miami, (3) Georgia Tech, (4) Washington, (5) Florida State, (6) Notre Dame, (7) Tennessee, (8) Michigan, (9) Clemson, (10) Louisville.