Hockey Fans Feeling Clipped by, It Turns Out, a Clip Joint

H e shoots, he. . . . Let’s try again. He shoots, he. . . .

Uh, this isn’t working.

When Kevin Sports Toys Ltd. of Calgary put out Wayne Gretzky Overtime Hockey, a new table game endorsed by Gretzky and the NHL, no one at the company expected to be working overtime to correct a manufacturing defect.

What lousy timing, too, eh? Just as the Great One was about to score his 700th goal.

Ken Rappoport of the Associated Press reported that thousands of angry customers have demanded repairs, replacements and refunds. One Calgary retailer estimated that 60% of the games, which sell for nearly $100, are being returned.

Add Gretzky game: The company quickly cranked out 25,000 U-shaped clips, designed to hold together a faulty plastic gear on the underside of the board that has rendered skaters immobile, unable to perform their turn-and-shoot move.

Trivia time: Who won the NFL’s first AFC and NFC wild-card playoff games?

Rx for humility: From Mike Lupica of the National: “The only troublesome thing about the UPI giving the national championship to Georgia Tech is that this is the first time in world history that football coaches have been smarter than sportswriters.

“Which, I have to tell you, is a pretty tough pill to swallow.”

No Viva Las Vegas?: Memo to hunch players: Check your entry lists to see whether any of the following horses, listed by Thoroughbred Racing Communications, are running on or about Jan. 8, Elvis Presley’s birthday.

Elvis, Elvis Lives, Elvis’ Double, Triple Elvis, Jail House Rock, Blue Suede Shoes, Heartbreak Hotel and The King.

Viva Las Vegas: You think Notre Dame was disappointed after the Orange Bowl game Tuesday night?

Said Sonny Reizner, a Las Vegas sports book director: “That game was a complete annihilation.”

Notre Dame was an early one- to two-point favorite, but bettors favoring Colorado wagered enough money to make their team a one-point favorite. Because the line moved, many bettors were able to collect on both sides when Colorado won, 10-9.

Said Reizner: “We were goodwill ambassadors. Everyone who came to the window with a ticket had a smile on their face.”

Flood of nostalgia: Dick Vermeil’s tearful farewell in 1982, at the end of his coaching tenure with the Philadelphia Eagles, is well documented. He reached into the emotional bucket Friday but managed to keep both eyes dry.

Vermeil, who will do the commentary for ABC-TV’s coverage of the Eagles’ wild-card playoff game against the Washington Redskins today, watched the Eagles practice.

He reflected on coaching the team to its last playoff victory, in January 1981, and added: “When I walked down here I was talking to (Eagle wide receiver) Mike Quick and I looked around and I said, ‘Mike, I’ve forgotten what it’s like just to stand down here. It’s different.’ ”

Trivia answer: Houston defeated Miami, 17-9, and Atlanta defeated Philadelphia, 14-13, on Dec. 24, 1978.

Quotebook: Philadelphia Eagle safety Andre Waters, comparing his team’s inconsistency to the behavior of a rattlesnake: “You can walk by it and it’ll never move, and the next time you walk by it’s liable to bite you bad.”