Feuding Couple Able to Settle Their Forum Visitation Rites

Divorce should always be this painful.

Faced with the problem of what to do with their Laker courtside season tickets, valued at $18,400 each, actress Dyan Cannon and her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Stan Fimberg, have agreed to divide them.

On a per-game basis, you’d have to figure.

Cannon told television’s “Entertainment Tonight” that she and Fimberg are “better friends than we are husband and wife” and that dividing the tickets was “very adult because I want to go to all the games.”

Trivia time: Which of the first 24 Super Bowls had the lowest television rating?

Through the motions: Is it too late to point out, in this season of expanded NFL playoffs, that midway through the weekend of Jan. 12-13, when six teams remained, they were the six division champions?

Dr. Frankovich: From Washington Post columnist Tony Kornheiser: “Todd Marinovich is responsible for Todd Marinovich. But it seems that Marv Marinovich’s obsession to create a petri-dish quarterback inspired this melodrama. Todd didn’t have anything resembling a normal childhood. Not for one second was he free to be his own person. Being arrested for drugs is a nightmarishly exaggerated form of rebellion. But if your whole being is someone else’s laboratory experiment, at some point you resent it.”

Packing it in: In the current issue of TV Guide, ABC sportscaster and Pro Football Hall of Fame member Frank Gifford offers an explanation for why so many Super Bowl games are blowouts:

“You start spring training in July and now you’re up to the 19th game in late January and your body is probably killing you. Football players know when it’s over. So when things start happening to their team in this last game, subconsciously they say, ‘We’ve had it here.’ They’ve just gone so far and so long.”

Difficult dual role: After his upset victory over Susan Butcher in the 500-mile Seagram’s Beargrease Sled Dog Marathon, Terry Adkins of Sand Coulee, Mont., said at the finish in Duluth, Minn., Saturday: “My strategy was to play the tortoise and the hare.”

Under his skin: Dave Roos of the Louisville Courier-Journal recently recovered a stray piece of information on the Oakland Athletics from the 1990 baseball season: “Oakland’s Rickey Henderson, who plays for animal-rights activist Tony La Russa, was fitted for two fur coats in the clubhouse during a series in Chicago.”

Linguists, even: Chicago Sun-Times columnist Brian Hewitt recently noted that Chicago Bear tight end James Coley’s children are named Tiyonneteona, Shanuanevia, Ani, Myrialysia, Fehlisegwanafay and James Lester Coley Jr.

Wrote Hewitt: “These kids will grow up to be good spellers.”

Trivia answer: Super Bowl III, the New York Jets’ 16-7 upset victory over the Baltimore Colts, with a 36.0 rating and a 71 share.

Quotebook: Coach Chuck Noll of the Pittsburgh Steelers, on his 9-7 team’s 0-6 record against teams with winning records: “We beat somebody with a winning record. We beat ourselves a few times.”