Golf Really Can Be Torture and Proof Is in the Putting

Simon Hobday, a rookie on the Senior PGA Tour, has entered the GTE West tournament, which begins today at Ojai Valley Inn and Country Club.

Commenting on his switch to a long putter, Simon was cryptic as only golfers can be: “My putting was so bad that when I walked on the green, my feet hurt. I got on the green, putted and got the hell off because it was like walking on hot coals.”

Add senior golf: Lee Trevino, also entered at Ojai, was asked whether he had a regular golf guru or teacher.

Said Trevino: “I’ve never had a coach in my life. When I find one who can beat me, then I’ll listen.”

Trivia time: Which team drafted Pat Riley in the American Basketball Assn.’s first draft in 1967?

Trumped again: Sandra McKee of the Baltimore Evening Sun had tough news for bicycle racing fans in the Baltimore area: The Tour Du Pont (formerly the Tour de Trump) won’t be coming through town this year.

Too bad for Baltimore, because this year’s field includes Tour de France winner Greg LeMond and runner-up Eric Breukink.

Blame the re-routing on the FICP, cycling’s sanctioning body, which changed the Baltimore race date from May 4 to May 11, the first day of Preakness Week festivities.

Bill Gilmore, director of the Baltimore office of promotion, said: “We have the 10th annual Preakness parade, the balloon race, the Concours d’Elegance and the Pimlico Special that day. The city just can’t accommodate another event downtown.”

Transition game: Golden State Warrior forward Chris Mullin recently evaluated his six-year NBA career in terms of his three All-Star game appearances.

Said Mullin: “In the three years I drank, I didn’t make it. In the three years I didn’t, I made it. Three years ago, I was a jerk. Fortunately, I’ve made some changes.”

Catch and keep: Before the doors of the Long Beach Convention Center swung open for Thursday’s second session of the Western Fishing Tackle and Boat Show, Pam Stratmeyer and Tim Scott of Fullerton had some business to attend to.

After walking under a row of crossed fishing poles, held by some of the 100 guests in attendance, the couple stood beneath a fishing canopy decorated with colorful lures and exchanged wedding vows.

Add fishing nuptials: Stratmeyer and Scott were the winners of a letter-writing contest with the theme, “How Fishin’ Got Us Reelin’ and That’s No Line.”

Stratmeyer wrote that they didn’t catch anything their first time fishing but returned to their cabin and planned another trip:

“We (took the trip) and fished and fished and fished, and talked and talked and talked. And I believe that is when we started to fall in love with each other. We took many more trips after that, most of them with the fishing poles along.”

Trivia answer: The Dallas Chaparrals.

Quotebook: Former light-heavyweight champion Archie Moore, when asked if Mike Tyson would be an easier opponent than Evander Holyfield for George Foreman because Tyson is easier to find: “That’s true, but finding Tyson might be like finding a nest of snakes.”