All-Nonsense Approach Lets King Keep Title

Promoter Don King barely defended his long-held heavyweight championship for non sequiturs and convoluted rhetoric at a news conference preceding tonight’s Mike Tyson-Razor Ruddock fight in Las Vegas.

He had a worthy opponent in Ruddock’s co-promoter, Murad Muhammad, who went for a quick knockout with a flurry of dazzling verbiage. Muhammad opened up by saying the fight was for the “International Continental National Championship” and introduced his fighter as “the next former heavyweight.”

Then he followed up by paying homage to President George Bush for America’s great victory over the Soviet Union. However, King bewildered Muhammad with this barrage:

“When the British were taxing us without representation and because they thought they were more powerful to intimidate the 13 colonies and beat them into submission under the Pavlovian theory.”

Of course.

Trivia Time: UCLA’s Bill Walton scored 44 points against Memphis State in 1973, a record for an NCAA championship game.

Whose record did he break?

Cool advice: Tom Callahan of the Washington Post tells the story of how the late James (Cool Papa) Bell went to a Dodger-Cardinal game in St. Louis in the 1960s and waited at the visitors’ gate for Maury Wills.

Bell then introduced himself.

“Maybe you heard of me, Mr. Wills, maybe not; it don’t matter,” he said. “But I’d like to help you. When you’re on base, get your hitters to stand as deep as they can in the box. That’ll push the catcher back a bit. It will get you another half step at least.”

Wills, the game’s premier base stealer at the time, was stunned: “I would never have thought of it,” he muttered.

Sore winner: While standing on the awards stand last February at the Atlantic Coast Conference indoor meet in Johnson City, Tenn., Kevin Braunskill of North Carolina reportedly hit James Trapp of Clemson in the head with the trophy after winning the 200 meters.

Trapp, who was third, suffered a mild concussion and needed stitches. Trapp earlier upset Braunskill at 55 meters.

Tee con: Sam Snead was playing a practice round with South African Bobby Cole before the 1967 Masters and they had a friendly wager.

When they reached the tee at Augusta National’s 13th hole, a par five with a slight dogleg to the left guarded by pine trees, Snead, then 55, said to the 23-year-old Cole: “When I was your age, I could knock the ball over those pine trees.”

Cole accepted the challenge, but his tee shot was smothered by the pines. He turned to Snead and said, “I couldn’t get over those trees. How did you do it?”

Snead smiled and said: “Bobby, when I was your age, those trees were only 20 feet tall.”

Super Soviets: The Soviet Union is being supplied with equipment by some American colleges. Just football gear.

“We desperately need equipment--used helmets, shoulder pads, cleats and so on,” said Igor Tatourian, president of the fledgling USSR Football Federation. “Our long-term goals are to become competitive in the European Football League and, after that, in the National Football League. As you know, when we get involved in sport, we do not like to be second best.”

Get ready for Super Bowl XXXV, the Denver Broncos against the, uh, Moscow Mules.

Trivia answer: UCLA’s Gail Goodrich had the previous record with 42 points against Michigan in the 1965 NCAA championship game.

Quotebook: Atlanta Hawk Coach Bob Weiss, on his team’s selfless ball movement in a game against the Dallas Mavericks: “For a group that at one time would rather pass kidney stones than a basketball, it’s amazing.”