A Taurus or Ursa Market?

Paul B. Farrell, the “Executive Astrologer” of Santa Monica, says this week could be a turning point for investors.

In what he calls “Power Days 1991,” Farrell says that on Thursday “Go-Go” Jupiter will face off with “Old Blue Chip” Saturn, an event that he promises is “guaranteed to trigger hi-anxiety in suburban malls and high-fashion boutiques, as well as impacting downtown L.A., Wall Street and the GNP.”

The bottom line of all this, Farrell says, is that it may signal a new bull market or, at the very least, higher trading volume.

Whether Farrell’s Wall Street predictions will come true is unclear. But his record at sports forecasts do not bode well for him. About six weeks ago, he said this coming week would be “shaping up with the thrills of a Douglas/Tyson rematch” and “a final playoff game with the Kings and the Flames.”

Both the Flames and the Kings were knocked out of hockey’s playoffs last month. And boxer Mike Tyson’s June 28 rematch is with Donovan (Razor) Ruddock, not James (Buster) Douglas.

Heart in the Job

Although it turns out his thyroid is to blame, President Bush’s heart fibrillations have raised questions about whether the frenetic pace of his job threatens his health. After all, whose heart could be under more job-related pressure than a President’s?

Try a bartender.

A soon-to-be published study in the Journal of Occupational Medicine by J. Paul Leigh, a San Jose State economics professor and senior research economist with Stanford’s Department of Medicine, shows bartenders with by far the highest blood pressure among 244 professions studied. That can be explained by the fact that bartenders often drink substantial amounts of alcohol, Leigh said, contributing to higher blood pressure.

Kiwi Freebie

Walt Disney’s Michael D. Eisner, who earned nearly $31,000 a day last year in salary, bonuses and gains from stock options, still gets an occasional freebie.

In a well-timed publicity stunt, Air New Zealand last week sent Eisner two round-trip, first-class tickets to Auckland worth $13,356. The gift came after Air New Zealand executives read that the Burbank entertainment giant is demanding that pictures of Mickey Mouse, Pluto, Donald Duck and one of the seven dwarfs be scrubbed from the walls in a children’s playground toilet in a New Zealand town.

Disney declines comment. But the airline boasts that Eisner would find “New Zealand, like Disneyland, is one of the friendliest places on Earth.”

Actually, Disneyland calls itself “the happiest place on Earth,” thus avoiding yet another potential dispute.

Briefly. . .

Just like on C-Span: The Improvisation comedy club says it will provide entertainment for corporate meetings in which a “government expert gives a speech in complete doubletalk” . . . Hair-raising sale: A West Los Angeles “regrowth” operation sells at a discount three-packs of Upjohn’s Rogaine anti-baldness drug.