Taking The Kids Along : Is It Possible to Keep Everyone Happy on a Family Trip? Surprising Tales of Joy From the Vacation Front. : More Luxury Hotels Are Welcoming Families on Budgets

We arrived at our hotel at 10 p.m., two crabby, grubby and hungry children in hand after a full day of travel from Vancouver Island to the city of Vancouver, British Columbia, where my husband was to begin the business portion of a combined business-holiday trip to Canada. The elegantly attired receptionist peered over the ornate check-in desk at our five-star hotel and greeted my surprised children by their first names, summoned the bellboy with an understanding smile and had us in our room within five minutes.

I’m not sure if it was the tour of the bathroom (which contained both a second telephone and television), the honor bar stocked with goodies or the pint-sized terry bathrobes the bellboy laid on their bed that revived them. But by the time a knock on the door five minutes later brought giant “happy face” chocolate chip cookies and milk with a handwritten welcoming note from the chef--all complimentary--David, 10, and Matthew, 5, had experienced major attitude adjustments. Two tired kids, suddenly and unexpectedly pampered, went to bed showered and serenely happy.

So did their parents. As I drifted off to sleep, my head on a down pillow, I surveyed our exquisitelyappointed room and thought: “If only we could afford to travel thisway when we are paying for it ourselves.”

Later I learned we could have.

At $200 and more a night, the amenities like the ones offered at the Four Seasons in Vancouver are what you would expect from a first-class hotel. But when the price drops to under $100, for many families a deluxe hotel becomes an affordable option to no-frills accommodations in a Howard Johnson’s or Best Western.

During our Vancouver stay, for which my husband’s company paid a corporate rate, I discovered the Four Seasons offers special family weekend prices. It’s all part of a new trend: Luxury hotels that once housed only well-heeled business people and affluent travelers are making themselves more accessible to budget-conscious vacationing families.

With a bit of sleuthing, flexible travel plans and some well-phrased questions, it’s possible to spend the night in a room furnished better than your own home--and with more amenities than the Gideon Bible in the night-stand drawer.

Advertised rates don’t always reflect what is actually available to families at luxury vacation properties. And with the boom in the two-career family, children more than ever before are accompanying their parents to hotels and resorts that once were the exclusive havens of adults.

“There has been a five-year trend to cater to families in the travel industry,” says Andrea DeGraff, a Bay Area-based family vacation specialist who analyzes travel trends. The American Hotel and Motel Assn. reports that 80% of hotels in the United States offer programs where children stay at no additional cost, and as many as 10% of business trips today include children.

According to DeGraff, luxury hotels in major metropolitan areas that depend on a business clientele during the week often offer rooms reduced as much as 20% to 50% on weekends. “Ask for the ‘family’ rate and you’ll have a good chance of securing the lowest possible rate available,” she advises. Families willing to take their chances at the last minute can save even more. If you are willing to check in after 4 p.m., says DeGraff, you’ll also get a better rate if the hotel has rooms to fill.

The Vancouver Four Seasons is just one example of a hotel that tries to lure families with reduced rates. Debra Currie, director of marketing, says room rates normally range from $215 to $270 a night, but on weekends the price of a standard room drops to under $100.

At other Four Seasons hotels, families can get weekend discounts of 10%-40% off. And the luxury hotel chain last week announced that beginning June 15, the discounted rates have been extended through weekdays at its city locations (but not resorts) until Sept. 15.

At the Embassy Suites national chain, weekend rates at non-resort locations can be as low as $79. DeGraff recommends them because they offer good value for large families: The suites accommodate up to six people, and the price includes a complimentary full breakfast and cocktail hour for all guests.

At the Westin in San Francisco, a room that usually costs $195 goes down to $97.50 on weekends, and kids under 18 are free in the same room. At Marriotts across the nation, rooms that go for $165 and up during the week are often available at the “family rate” of $105 on weekends. But if you ask for the “Two for Breakfast” weekend rate, you can stay for between $59 and $89, with a full breakfast for two--you only pay extra for the children’s breakfasts--at many of the Marriott locations.

One of the best travel bargains at luxury properties is being offered by the Hyatt hotels. Camp Hyatt, the chain’s much-heralded children’s program, has been copied by several of the major luxury hotels since it began a few years ago. Featuring recreation directors who conduct supervised activities, evening child care, special menus with children’s portions and inexpensive room-service choices, plus a “frequent stay” program that rewards kids with knapsacks after their fourth stay, Camp Hyatt allows parents to vacation with kids and enjoy private time as well.

The program began, says public relations coordinator Pam DiCarlantonio, “because people asked for it. The U.S. Travel Data Center reported that business travelers were bringing children on trips with them, often extending their stay through the weekend. We formed focus groups with children and their parents to find out what they wanted.” Weekend rates at the Hyatt can be as low as $79, children under 18 stay free and an adjoining room is 50% off when available. The Camp Hyatt program is available at an additional fee (averaging about $25 for a full-day program).

Parents who participate in frequent flier programs can also take advantage of reduced rates at luxury hotels, and even earn extra miles for staying at certain hotels. These miles can be cashed in for resort trips or tickets from participating airlines. Hotel rates are often reduced 30% for participants in these programs. America West, for example, works with Doubletree, Marriott and Compri hotels. Compri offers free full breakfasts to families and summer rates as low as $69, an especially good bargain at its hotel near Disney World, in Orlando, Fla., where rates at competing hotels are much higher. Many hotels will also arrange special family outings, from hot-air balloon rides to golf parties.

Delta is a particularly good example of an airline that goes out of its way to attract families: It automatically enrolls a child in its frequent flier program the first time the child flies Delta.

While upscale hotels are a bargain at under $100 a night, families can also find values if they are willing to pay more at some of the country’s premier hotels. In New York City, where hotel rooms are particularly pricey, a room at The Pierre, for example, goes for $525 a night. But even this luxurious hotel reduces its rate to $350 a night during the weekends to encourage family travelers who want to experience the ultimate in a luxury hotel.

If you really want to treat the little ones, book the junior presidential suite at Boston’s Ritz-Carlton. Designed by Saks Fifth Avenue, the room features an arts and crafts area, toy box and games, television, stereo and VCR, robes and a stuffed “Carlton the Lion” to take home. But, at $495 a night, you’ll need to bank your savings from your other bargain stays to enjoy the luxury of this hotel.

For many, a dream vacation is relaxing at an island resort or going on a cruise. But browsing through travel brochures listing sky-high prices makes these holidays mere fantasies for many families. Recently, however, resorts and cruise lines that once catered primarily to couples and seniors have also hopped on the family bandwagon.

Destinations once thought to be too exotic (translation: too expensive) for families still saving for college and the orthodontist are now more accessible.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the increase in the number of “family camp” programs at resorts that were once exclusive retreats for adults. Club Med, which built its reputation as a swinging retreat for singles, has become one of the leaders in family resort vacations.

“Family villages” are available at Club Meds in the Caribbean, Mexico and Florida. So-called Baby Clubs, Petit Clubs, Mini Clubs and Kids Clubs at various Club Med resorts offer activity programs tailored to different age groups, from infants to teens--everything from scuba lessons to arts and crafts at no extra charge. Rates at Club Meds are as low as $100 a night for adults and $65 for children (including food but not air fare). For the best values, ask for the “Kids Free” dates for each location, usually scheduled during off-peak periods.

For parents who like tennis and golf, Camp RBI at the Rancho Bernardo Inn in San Diego keeps children busy with movie making, soccer and other activities. Camp is in session from August through Labor Day, as well as during the July 4, Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Rates are as low as $125 a night, but there are a variety of tennis and golf packages--some including instruction by the pros--at a variety of rates. Camp RBI is provided free.

If you’re looking for a luxury vacation at an exotic location, family travel expert DeGraff recommends Jamaica. “For $300 a day, including room, food and air fare, a family of four can stay at a luxury resort for much less (the cost) of many Hawaiian resorts.”

One trick to planning an affordable vacation to a resort is simply to travel when the crowds don’t. DeGraff also encourages families to travel during the off-season, no matter what their destination. Rates often head in the opposite direction of temperatures at desert retreats and island resorts.

In Arizona, the Westin La Paloma, a full-service spa and resort in Tucson, reduces rates by half to $75 a day from May to September, when prices go up to $280. “People balk at going to Arizona in the summer because of the heat,” says DeGraff, “yet they will go to Mexico and the Caribbean. It may be a few degrees cooler in those spots, but the humidity makes it much less bearable than the dry heat of Arizona.”

Another good summer value in Arizona is the Hyatt’s Gainey Ranch in Scottsdale. Rates start at $99 beginning June 1, then nearly double after Sept. 2. Planned activities on the resort’s Camp Kachina program are $25 extra per day.

At ski resorts, the reverse formula applies: When temperatures rise, prices drop. “The Aspen Music Festival and classes at the Aspen Institute make for a great family summer vacation in Aspen, where condos are often half-price,” DeGraff says.

At Lake Tahoe, winter rates at The Tahoe Seasons resort at Heavenly Valley are $128, but the same whirlpool-equipped rooms--one mile from the lake and 100 yards from the ski lifts--drops to $95 in the spring, ending June. If a family is willing to trade winter skiing for summer balloon festivals, classic car shows and mountain-bike riding in Park City, Utah, a stay at the Olympia Resort costs $59 (peak-season skiers pay $134).

For a unique mountain getaway with lots of history and nostalgia, a stay at the Trapp Family Lodge in Stowe, Vt., provides views of two valleys and woodland walks on cross-country ski trails that cost skiers $220 a night with meals. In the summer, the tab sinks to as low as $185.

“Thanksgiving is also a good time to travel almost anywhere because many people tend to stay at home during that holiday, so most resorts offer special rates,” DeGraff points out.

The newest trend in the travel industry is to cater to single parents with kids. Single travelers often have to pay a penalty when not sharing a room with another adult (even if the kids are staying free in the room), but some resorts are now waiving this fee. In Jamaica, the Boscobel Beach Resort now caters to families and single parents without any extra charges. Boscobel is also a kind of symbol of how times have changed: It was once a Playboy Club.

Cruise lines, which once aimed their luxury trips at older travelers, are also hoping more children will get on the boat. Premier Cruise Lines, the official cruise line of Walt Disney World, offers one of the best cruise values for families. A four-night cruise rate is $445, including all meals and activities. A seven-night Disney Week package--adding hotel, rental car, admission to Disney World and a tour of Spaceport USA--begins at $995 for adults (accompanying children are booked at a lower rate). The first cruise line to offer five-berth family cabins, Premier offers four separate children’s programs as well as adult entertainment.

Another good value, according to Lana Elpiner, president of Vacations at Sea, a Bay Area travel agency specializing in cruises, is the Disney cruise off Florida with the Carnival line. And Costa Cruise Lines provides family-oriented trips to the Caribbean. She recommends booking early for the best rates and traveling in the off-season, though there will be fewer children aboard at those times. Elpiner suggests American Hawaii Cruise lines to tour the Hawaiian Islands as a good value because children travel free when accompanied by their parents.

Even Club Med has entered the cruise business, with a program geared to adults but allowing children from age 12 to accompany their parents. Club Med 1, launched in February, will be joined in 1992 by Club Med 2 to ply the waters of the Caribbean.

At $300 a day and up, cruises certainly qualify as luxury vacations. But like resorts, their prices may go down in the off-season--worth remembering when planning a family getaway.

GUIDEBOOK

Family Vacation Planning

The time-consuming work of tracking trends and good travel values--and then scrambling to take advantage of them--can sometimes take the fun out of planning a vacation for busy families. Travel agents are an invaluable resource.

If you want to keep track of what’s new in family vacations on your own, two publications written specifically for traveling families are:

Family Travel Times, a newsletter published 10 times a year and available by subscription at $35 annually. TWYCH, Travel With Your Children, 80 8th Ave., New York 10011, (212) 206-0688.

Getaways, a quarterly publication available by subscription at $25 a year. Family Vacations, Inc., P.0. Box 11511, Washington, D.C. 20009, (703) 534-TRIP.