Don’t Grow Up as Dad Did, Just Grow Up

Maybe John McEnroe has been looking at videotapes showing wild and obscene behavior that should embarrass him, because he is telling associates that he does not want his son Sean, a preschooler, to become a professional tennis player like his daddy.

“I would love my kids to play sports and enjoy it and certainly play tennis,” he said. “But as (for) playing professional tennis, I would prefer that he didn’t. Inevitably, people would start bringing up comparisons between me and him, how he acts on the court and also the results. The press and a lot of other people would make it seem like he would be a failure if he only won a few majors instead of as many as I did.”

Or a nice guy if he failed to scream at as many line calls.

High and wide: Tommy Greene, the Philadelphia Phillies’ no-hit pitcher, is known for his wild streaks. Once, he threw a pitch that sailed over the backstop.

Greene had an answer: “That was a Manute Bol knockdown pitch.”

Trivia time: How many ways are there for a batter to reach first base safely?

Boxing bonanza: The world heavyweight boxing championship has been called the richest prize in sports, and you will get no argument from champion Evander Holyfield.

After his Nov. 8 match against former champion Mike Tyson, Holyfield, in a 54-week period, will have earned $58 million.

Breakdown: $30 million from the Tyson fight, $20 million from the George Foreman fight on April 19 and $8 million from the Buster Douglas fight last Oct. 25.

Tough call: The Salinas Spurs of the California League had 11 Japanese players on their roster at one time this year. This prompted veteran announcer Jon Sandler to comment: “I just pray they never get anybody in a rundown.”

Drive time: Broadcaster Brian Drebber is following this year’s Tour de France as the official voice of the Greg LeMond Hotline, a 900 number for followers of the American champion.

“The drivers of the support vehicles have the complete, total authority to break every traffic law in France,” he said. “I’ve been driving with complete abandon. You go past a gendarme (police officer) at 150 k.p.h. and they wave you through.

“I’ve been using the publicity vans like slalom gates, weaving in and out of traffic and driving up sidewalks.”

No calling: When former Auburn defensive back Eric Ramsey accused Coach Pat Dye of racism, one of the accusations stemmed from the fact that Dye did not call Ramsey to congratulate him after he was chosen in the 10th round of the NFL draft.

Dye’s reply: “In the years I’ve been here, we’ve had between 60 and 70 players drafted. I haven’t called any of them.”

What counts: NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue has said he will start suspending players for serious alcohol violations, in the same way players are suspended for cocaine and steroid use. Which causes Vito Stellino of the Baltimore Sun to ask how Tagliabue can reconcile this policy with the fact that NFL telecasts are filled with beer commercials.

Fan or foe?: John Paul Cain was playing in a threesome two groups ahead of Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer and Lee Trevino in a recent senior tournament, but he wished he was in their gallery instead of playing.

“When people come out to watch Arnie and Jack play, they’ll run right over you,” Cain said. “You can go two, three lifetimes without seeing a pairing like that. It was world class, like the old days with (Sam) Snead, (Ben) Hogan and (Jimmy) Demaret. I wish I wasn’t playing so I could go watch it.”

Trivia answer: Eight: Hit. Base on balls. Hit by pitch. Catcher’s interference. Error. Fielder’s choice. Passed ball on third strike. Wild pitch on third strike.

Quotebook: Michael Jordan, on why he took up golf: “Davis Love III turned me on to golf when we were at North Carolina by showing me it isn’t a sissy game.”