No Question, It’s Time to Get Football Feet Wet

No plunge into the 1991 college football season is safe without first consulting the 20 questions that matter. Ready to take the dive?

1) I don’t get it. Brigham Young quarterback Ty Detmer won the Heisman Trophy last year, yet he isn’t considered the favorite to win the stiff-arming statuette in 1991. What gives?

Eight words: Killer schedule. David Klingler. John Jenkins. Muchos interceptions.

It is our sad duty to report that barring some miracle (yes, yes, we remember the seagulls-and-the-grasshoppers story), BYU will be hard pressed to finish the season 8-4. The Cougars play Florida State on the road, UCLA on the road, Penn State on the road and Colorado State on the road. The way we figure it, that’s four losses and who knows what Hawaii, which seems to have the Cougars’ number, will do to them.

Klingler has everything Detmer has, and then some. He’s bigger, taller, stronger and, well, newer. Heisman voters like new things, which is partly why there has been only one repeat winner--Ohio State’s Archie Griffin, 1974-75--since the award was established in 1935.

As an added bonus, Klingler is coached by John Jenkins, the man with no conscience. No matter the score, Jenkins is likely to keep Klingler on the field whenever possible. After all, you never know when a team might be able to overcome an 84-21 deficit.

As for Detmer, he is burdened by the voters’ memory of his final three games of last season. He threw five touchdown passes against poor Utah State, but he also threw five interceptions. He threw four more interceptions in an embarrassing 59-28 loss to Hawaii--the same day he won the Heisman. And in a 65-14 loss to Texas A&M; in the Holiday Bowl, Detmer was knocked out of the game in the third quarter.

2) No season is complete without its share of scurrilous, unsubstantiated, you-will-be-hearing-from-my-lawyer-type rumors. What three rumors might we expect to hear in 1991?

College football wouldn’t be college football without at least one ridiculous yet intriguing whisper involving Notre Dame Coach Lou Holtz.

The early favorite: The minute after John Cooper receives his pink slip in inter-office mail, Ohio State officials will be on the phone to Holtz, pleading with him to accept the job. Besides a long-term, big-money contract, Buckeye negotiators will tell Holtz he can dot the Ohio State ‘i’ at halftime.

(Footnote: Don’t dismiss this one without first recalling that Holtz grew up in East Liverpool, Ohio; that he played football at Kent State; that he served as an assistant coach on Woody Hayes’ 1968 Ohio State staff, which, by the way, was the last Buckeye team to win a national championship; that, after five years, he may be weary of the intense national scrutiny paid to him at Notre Dame and that he hasn’t stayed anywhere as a head coach longer than seven seasons.)

Other nominees:

--UCLA sophomore quarterback Tommy Maddox will declare himself available for the 1992 NFL draft.

--Nebraska Coach Tom Osborne will discover that the forward pass is legal and quite permissible in modern Big Eight Conference play.

3) Now that Oklahoma has served its time in the NCAA big house and is eligible to compete for a conference title and bowl invitation, is Colorado’s reign of Big Eight terror finished?

Not if Colorado quarterback Darian Hagan returns from a knee injury. Hagan, who suffered a torn tendon during last January’s Orange Bowl victory against Notre Dame, said he expects to be fully recovered and ready to play when the Buffaloes open their season Sept. 7. The little guy hasn’t lied yet, so we’ll take his word for it.

Despite losing 11 starters, many of them key performers, Colorado is still the team to beat. It hasn’t lost a conference game in two years. And before you start humming “Boomer Sooner,” you may want to remember that Oklahoma lost four starters in the defensive line, three offensive linemen and its kicker.

4) If you could watch only six regular-season games this year, which ones would you choose?

--Sept. 12. Houston at Miami. Slingin’ Klinglin’ vs. the Motor Mouth Miamians. Officials won’t need whistles, they’ll need muzzles. The game when we learn if Klingler and Jenkins’ offense are as good as Jenkins says they are.

--Sept. 28. Florida State at Michigan. Bobby Bowden’s teams have a history of quieting the hostile masses. The 100,000-plus assembled at Ann Arbor that day will be no exception.

--Oct. 19. Colorado at Oklahoma. The day the Big Eight title is determined.

--Nov. 2. Florida State at Louisville. Laugh now. Marvel at the prophecy later.

--Nov. 9. Washington at USC. Sorry, UCLA, this will be the game that determines the Pacific 10 Rose Bowl entry.

--Nov. 30. Florida State at Florida. The winner plays for a national championship on bowl day.

5) Fact or typographical error: Jackie Sherrill ... a head coach ... at a Division I-A institution? Can’t be.

It’s true. Sherrill was selling cars in Houston when desperate Mississippi State officials contacted him during the off-season. They needed a proven winner to rescue their fading football program, which is hampered by a stadium that is second-smallest in the Southeastern Conference, an enrollment that is third-smallest and a bowl record that is almost nonexistent--six postseason appearances since the school was founded in 1878.

Sherrill’s won-lost record is impressive: 105-45-2, which includes eight bowl appearances in 13 years. Not so impressive was his seven-season stay at Texas A&M.; The Aggies won lots of games, but were later found guilty of violating numerous NCAA rules. Sherrill resigned in 1988, barely in time for the school to begin its two-year probation.

6) At last count there were 10 major postseason awards and not one of them singles out the best defensive player in the country. Why isn’t there a defensive equivalent of the Heisman Trophy?

Our sentiments exactly. If we were in a position of power, we’d create the Paul (Bear) Bryant Trophy, find a fat-cat corporate sponsor and put the Outland, Lombardi, Thorpe, Butkus and Rockne awards to shame. Bryant’s name would provide instant legitimacy and recognition, to say nothing of exposing the Heisman for what it really is: an offensive-player-of-the-year award.

7) Who are the three happiest people in college football today?

That’s easy.

--Absolute happiest: John Junker, executive director of the Fiesta Bowl.

Seven months ago, the Fiesta was this close to taking a permanent siesta. But thanks to the new bowl alliance involving the Fiesta, Orange, Sugar and Cotton, the game may live happily ever after.

--Pretty darn happy: Terry Donahue, UCLA coach. He has Tommy Maddox at quarterback and no Washington on his schedule.

--Happy as a clam: NBC programmer.

By virtue of its five-year, estimated $30-million contract with Notre Dame, the network holds the broadcast rights to all Irish home games. Smart move. What with the overabundance of college football viewing choices each weekend, Notre Dame remains probably the only team capable of attracting a sizable television audience.

8) And the least joyous people in college football today?

--Absolutely miserable: John Cooper, Ohio State coach.

The Buckeye administration and football boosters all but ran Earle Bruce out of town--and he had an 81-21-1 record during his stay in Columbus. What do you think they will do with Cooper who, after three seasons, has a 19-14-2 record and might be without running back Robert Smith, the Big Ten freshman of the year in 1990. Smith quit the team last week, citing problems with Cooper and assistant coach Elliot Uzelac, though there is some hope Smith might return.

Cooper has two years left on his contract, but impatient Ohio State yahoos won’t sit still if the Buckeyes aren’t in this season’s Rose Bowl.

--Crying in his beer: Chuck Rohe, executive director of the Citrus Bowl.

The Citrus lost out in its bid to become Bowl X in the bowl alliance. Next year it loses its automatic tie-in with the winner of the Atlantic Coast Conference.

--Oh so sad: Dennis Green, Stanford coach. The Cardinal begins its 100th season with Washington, Arizona, Colorado and Notre Dame.

9) What teams will earn invitations to the six major bowls?

Rose: Michigan State and Washington.

Orange: Colorado and Michigan.

Sugar: Florida and Penn State.

Cotton: Baylor and Notre Dame.

Fiesta: USC* and Oklahoma. (*USC goes only if the Fiesta changes its starting time. Remember, no Pac-10 or Big Ten team can play in the Fiesta if it competes with the Rose Bowl time slot. If USC can’t go, Miami will.)

Citrus: Clemson vs. Florida State.

10) Name three coaches who won’t win many popularity contests among their peers.

In no specific order:

--John Jenkins, Houston.

He talks the talk, walks the walk, but backs it up with one of the most innovative offenses in the game. However, his love for running up the score earns him few coaching friends.

--Howard Schnellenberger, Louisville.

Schnellenberger is smug, occasionally arrogant and a bit pompous. But what really galls opposing coaches is that Schnellenberger, a tireless worker, almost always delivers what he promises. He is a master rebuilder of programs--and he knows it.

--Lou Holtz, Notre Dame.

Accused of being a lounge act with a whistle, Holtz’s sincerity is sometimes questioned, as is his love of poor-mouthing his powerful Notre Dame teams. Still, his record speaks volumes: a five-year record of 46-14, including a national championship, at the most demanding program in the country.

--Honorable mentions: Sherrill and Vanderbilt’s Gerry DiNardo.

11) Georgia Tech came out of nowhere in 1990 and won a share of the national championship. Who will be the Georgia Tech of 1991?

Nobody. However, there are two teams that might emerge from the depths:

--Baylor.

Nine starters return on offense and eight on defense, which, using our strange form of math, equal an unexpected Southwest Conference title and trip to the Cotton Bowl. The Bears have the conference’s best offensive line, lots of depth at running back and a defense that will be among the nation’s stingiest against the run.

--Virginia Tech.

The Hokies’ biggest enemy--their schedule--could also be their biggest ally by season’s end. Tech plays, among others, North Carolina State, Oklahoma, West Virginia, Florida State, Louisville and Virginia. Only the Louisville game is played at home.

Still, four victories out of six isn’t out of the question for Tech, which has 10 returning offensive starters, including quarterback Will Furrer, and seven defensive starters. Remember, this is the team that ended last season with victories over Southern Mississippi, N.C. State and Virginia. It also lost to Georgia Tech by only 6-3.

12) Other than the aforementioned Cooper, who else needs to have a successful season ... or else?

Once again, UCLA’s Terry Donahue and Georgia’s Ray Goff figure prominently on the list. Arizona State’s Larry Marmie, Missouri’s Bob Stull and Arkansas’ Jack Crowe also must be successful if they expect to keep those personalized parking spots.

13) What three things won’t we see at Oklahoma this season?

--A Brian Bosworth film festival, followed later by “Happy Boz Day--A Tribute to the Man and His Legend.”

--”NCAA Appreciation Day.” Guest speaker: David Berst of the NCAA’s enforcement staff.

--A halftime show honoring the Uzi and its role in Sooner football history.

14) Let’s say Brigham Young’s Ty Detmer decides to go on a Mormon mission midway through the season, or Houston’s David Klingler requests a switch to linebacker--who then will win the Heisman?

If the Heisman voters had any guts--which they don’t--they would find room on their ballots for Michigan offensive tackle Greg Skrepenak, East Carolina linebacker Robert Jones, Washington defensive tackle Steve Emtman, Stanford running back Glyn Milburn, Michigan State running back Tico Duckett and Georgia Tech quarterback Shawn Jones.

And if those same Heisman voters truly wanted to reward the best and most dominating player in the game, they would make sure the statuette found its way into Skrepenak’s massive hands.

15) What nuggets of information are worth remembering as the season progresses?

--To qualify for postseason play, a team must have at least six victories against Division I-A opponents.

--If Penn State Coach Joe Paterno can overcome the temptation to strangle his opinionated quarterback, Tony Sacca, the Nittany Lions may survive the toughest schedule in the country (Georgia Tech, USC, Miami, Notre Dame, West Virginia and Pittsburgh, among others).

--Two fewer teams will earn bowl invitations, thanks to the demise of the All-American Bowl.

16) OK, let’s get this over with: Who is Notre Dame’s Heisman Trophy candidate this year?

Surprise--no one! But by this time next year, everyone will know about tailback Willie Clark.

Clark, a sophomore, was used sparingly in the Notre Dame backfield last season and eventually was switched to free safety. He started the last three games but has since been returned to offense, where he will receive considerable playing time, and will return kicks.

17) Who are the early favorites to win the national championship?

We will do better than that. We will tell you who the favorites are and why they won’t win the national title.

--Michigan.

The Wolverines were touted as No. 1 material last season and look what happened to them: They lost three of their first six games, including their opener to Notre Dame. History aside, Michigan has little margin for error. It begins its 1991 schedule with a probable victory over Boston College, but then must play Notre Dame, Florida State, Iowa, Michigan State and Indiana. We like the chances of Florida State and Michigan State.

Michigan has 16 starters returning, but the Wolverines are thin where it matters most--at running back, at quarterback, at outside linebacker and in the secondary, where Coach Gary Moeller must insert three new starters.

Don’t get us wrong: Great team, but no national title.

--Washington.

Defense wins championships, but so does a strong quarterback and at the moment, the Huskies are without the guy they need most--Mark Brunell. The Huskies will arrive in Pasadena with one defeat--nobody will go through the Pac-10 schedule unscathed--and then lose a heartbreaker to Michigan State.

18) Florence Griffith Joyner, the track star, redesigned the uniforms of the NBA’s Indiana Pacers not long ago. Which athletic directors should immediately contact FloJo for similar uniform changes?

Where to begin . . .

--Hawaii.

The worst. You wouldn’t use Hawaii’s gang-green jerseys for dust rags. The helmet logo--a rainbow with UH also crammed on the side--sets graphics design back decades. A bonfire, using the uniforms as kindling, would be a wonderful idea.

--Nebraska.

What a helmet logo--N. It isn’t even a neat N. Just N, as in Nowledge. It’s as if no one wanted to pay for a more expensive stencil.

--USC.

Enlarge the logo. From distances greater than 10 feet, the Trojan looks like a Rorschach test.

As for those schools with no design worries, praise goes to Clemson (the original Tiger paw), SMU (terrible team, great Mustang logo), Penn State (those white uniforms and helmets are so plain, so stark that they are cool), Texas (the burnt orange Longhorn logo is perfect) and Florida State (best combination of colors, garnet and gold, and logo, arrowheads).

19) What do Cal State Long Beach, North Texas, Utah State, Arkansas State, Cornell, Middle Tennessee State, Appalachian State, East Tennessee State and Cal State Fullerton have in common?

Desperate athletic directors.

In exchange for a hefty paycheck, Long Beach gets to travel to Miami--unfortunately for new Coach Willie Brown, it’s Miami of Florida, not Ohio--for an expenses-paid rout. Oklahoma has hired the services of lowly North Texas and Utah State on successive Saturdays. Arkansas State is the guest of appreciative LSU, and Cornell comes west to provide Stanford an egghead massacre. Fullerton is headed for Mississippi State. Middle Tennessee State visits Florida State and Appalachian State is bound for Clemson. East Tennessee goes to Georgia Tech.

The combined 1990 records of the aforementioned mercenaries: 40-46-2.

20) What will be the national championship scenario?

There will be no dual No. 1s, as there were last season with Colorado and Georgia Tech. This season’s national championship will be determine at the Citrus Bowl when Florida State plays Clemson.

Clemson?

Correct. The Tigers play six of their first seven games at home, allowing them to face both Georgia Tech and Virginia at Death Valley.

The favorable schedule will go well with a lineup that includes running back Ronald Williams, the Atlantic Coast Conference rookie of the year, and fellow sophomore Terry Smith. The Tiger defense features two of the best linebackers in the country--Levon Kirkland and Ed McDaniel. The Tigers also have Ken Hatfield, one of only five coaches to have taken a Division I-A team to a postseason game in each of the last nine years.

Florida State, you know about: an excellent coach--Bobby Bowden; a daring, balanced offense led by quarterback Casey Weldon and running back Amp Lee; two linebackers--Marvin Jones and Kirk Carruthers--who are even better than Clemson’s; a defensive secondary led by cornerback Terrell Buckley, and a roster that features 18 returning starters.

And the winner is . . . ta-da, Clemson.