Nearly 700,000 Scofflaws About to Feel the Tentacles of Big Brother

Ithink the San Diego Police Department is out to get me.

Saturday morning, I walk out of my office in downtown San Diego and find a ($24) parking ticket on my windshield.

Wednesday morning, I walk out of my office in downtown San Diego and head across B Street to a coffee-and-cookie stand. I cross at mid block.

Out of nowhere comes Officer William G. Day. Riding a Kawasaki. Desiring to talk to me about Section 21955 of the State Vehicle Code: jaywalking.

He’s polite, professional, downright affable, even non-judgmental: in sum, a total brute.

I offer to buy him a chocolate chip cookie. He declines.

I offer to let him scold me severely in lieu of a ticket. He declines.

I decide to use my superior knowledge of government.

I tell Officer Day that we both know that the backlog of unserved arrest warrants in the county (around 690,000) virtually assures me that I will never be brought to justice if I decide not to pay the ($20) ticket.

I suggest that we forget the whole thing: in the spirit of eliminating useless bureaucratic paperwork.

Still polite and friendly, Officer Day warns me there’s a new state law that is tightening up on people who don’t pay their tickets. He tells me to have a nice day.

I slink back to my office, ticket D832434 in my mitt. I call County Marshal Mike Sgobba.

Damn if Officer Day isn’t right. Sgobba explains that AB1297 will reduce the unserved warrant load by putting a hold on driver and car license renewals, tax refunds and lottery winnings of warrant scofflaws.

Great. A thousand social problems in California, and the Legislature decides to solve the one problem that I could have profited from.

The San Diego City Council was a big supporter of AB1297. My government at work.

I’m not suffering alone: pedestrian tickets are big in San Diego: 6,700 in the first half of 1991. A push to herd people into crosswalks and reduce pedestrian fatalities.

City Manager Jack McGrory got a ticket for jaywalking in front of City Hall (on crutches, no less).

Maybe the Police Department is out to get him, too.

Harpoons, Trips, Pitchers, Pulpits

Here-here.

* Body politic.

The slogan of the recall against Oceanside Deputy Mayor Melba Bishop: “Save the Whales, Harpoon Melba.”

It even appears on hats, like one worn by Mayor Larry Bagley.

(It helps to know that Bishop is a bit largish.)

* San Diego Mayor Maureen O’Connor goes to Moscow and Vladivostok next month: a trade mission and a sister-city visit.

* Tonight is Dave Dravecky Thanks You Night at San Diego Jack Murphy Stadium.

* Pulpit power.

One secret to the Rev. George Stevens’ victory over San Diego Councilman Wes Pratt was staunch support from churches and ministers in the district.

Among the most enthusiastic were Black Muslims, who campaigned door-to-door around their mosque in Southeast San Diego.

* Former Rep. Jim Bates (D-San Diego) walked precincts for Andrea Skorepa in her failed campaign to oust Councilman Bob Filner.

Bates had some self-interest: He and Filner may be opponents next year for Congress.

* Headline in Escondido Times Advocate: “Toilet Rebates to Flood County.”

Trying to Set a Citizen Straight

Somewhere in San Diego there’s a confused citizen.

Let’s see if we can put her straight.

It started with a newspaper feature story about gay cops in San Diego.

A few days later, a woman goes up to a cop in his car and starts offering him (unsolicited) sympathy about the P.D. hiring gays: “I think it’s terrible you brave officers have to put up with . . . .’

The cop is listening but losing patience.

Then the woman notices that his name tag has the same last name (different first name) as one of the gay cops mentioned in the story. She gets flustered:

“You’re not related to one of them, are you?”

The cop moves in for the clincher.

“Why yes,” he says, “he’s my husband.”

The woman slinks away, not realizing the joke’s on her.