Stop-Gap Play Hopes to Get Youths Esteemed Up : Theater: ‘The Miracle of Me’ premieres Monday at SCR, along with ‘So There I Was . . . ,’ which addresses teen pregnancy.

Ever felt like a demon resides inside your head, one that lets loose a tirade of criticism every time you turn around, one that gets out of bed before you do just to warm up to put you down?

This demon says “What?! You screwed up again ? You’re so stupid, if they put your brain on the head of a pin, it would roll around like a BB on a six-lane highway. Plus which, you’re ugly. And fat. And lazy. And . . . .”

Sound familiar?

Stop-Gap theater company has given this demon human form in “The Miracle of Me,” a 15-minute play about self-esteem that is one of two new touring productions Stop-Gap will present Monday at South Coast Repertory. The other premiere, “So There I Was . . . ,” addresses teen pregnancy.

The Santa Ana-based troupe uses drama as therapy, staging plays about such issues as drug addiction, child abuse and racism. The shows are presented in schools, community centers and businesses, engaging audiences in discussions and improvisational exercises. Monday’s program, which also will include portions of previous Stop-Gap productions, is being staged as a theatrical sampler to acquaint parents, educators, health-care professionals and other adults with the company’s works.

“The Miracle of Me” is about Auggie(, a young woman who takes a journey on a makeshift time machine back to her own childhood, searching for the self-esteem she lacks as an adult. It is Stop-Gap’s second touring play in 13 years--following a 1990 production about alcoholism and the family--designed for elementary schoolers, rather than teen-age students.

“We want to get more and more into prevention, although we’re still into intervention,” said troupe founder and executive director Don R. Laffoon(.

In the play, when Auggie becomes a youth once again, she confronts the Self-Esteem Chewer Upper--her inner voice of self-reproach--and struggles with perfectionism, feelings of inferiority, and society’s model-perfect standards of beauty. The Chewer Upper is portrayed by the play’s author Richard Knapp(, who uses a megaphone to blast Auggie with insults or remind her of the lousy grades she got in school--and how her sister got A’s.

Knapp, the troupe’s education director, wants to leave interpretation open. But there is one main point he hopes to drive home, he said.

“You don’t have to get your self-esteem out of being the biggest star or anything like that--you have it in you to begin with,” he said. “That’s a little difficult to believe, but we all have a specialness inside. Positive deeds are very important, and self-esteem is related to accomplishment, but I don’t want to say it’s only that.”

With support from her friend Betty, Auggie is somewhat successful in her quest, but she doesn’t have a miraculous conversion into Ms. I’m-OK-You’re-OK, Knapp said.

“I wouldn’t want anyone to think all you have to do is snap your fingers and everything is fine. There’s a danger, perhaps, in our society that we look for easy, instant answers,” instead of digging for root causes of troublesome feelings or behaviors. That’s the way other plays done by Stop-Gap (which also presents full-scale theatrical productions that are not created primarily for therapeutic use) attempt to address various problems.

“The drug-abuse play, for example, doesn’t focus on drugs as much as what’s happening in the family that makes drug addiction seem a viable alternative,” Knapp said. “As long as those underlying issues are not gotten into, they are going to keep making themselves felt.”

Knapp, 36, who has a master’s degree in counseling from Cal State Fullerton, drew on his own experiences in writing “The Miracle of Me.” He also consulted with teachers and went back to Stop-Gap programs he has presented in such places as the Orangewood Children’s Home for abused and neglected children in Orange.

The topic of self-esteem, as well as sexual responsibility, is focused on in “So There I Was . . . ,” which is geared to junior-high and high-school students, Knapp said. In that play, he attempted to address the long-term realities of bearing and raising children, rather than narrowly concentrate on the emotional blowup that can occur when a young woman confronts a parent or boyfriend with news of her pregnancy.

“In real life, what happens nine months down the line, or what happens after the child is born, when you want to go out and you’ve got a kid at home or when you try to find a job?” he said.

Stop-Gap productions, to be presented in about 100 Orange and Los Angeles County schools this year, can make a difference, even when plays deal with such chronic problems as low self-esteem that can persist through adulthood, Knapp said.

“We’re not there to judge or preach; we’re just there to give them a strong theatrical experience that will hopefully stick in their minds,” Knapp said. “I think back in my own life, and I can remember a single message from another kid or a teacher that had a big impact, negative or positive. Theater is dynamic enough that kids do remember it.”

“The Miracle of Me” and “So There I Was . . .,” two new Stop-Gap touring plays, plus other troupe productions, will be staged Monday, 6 p.m. at South Coast Repertory, 655 Town Center Drive, Costa Mesa. Admission: free. Reservations recommended: (714) 648-0135.