For One Ram, This Was the Hardest Loss : Death: Robert Young didn’t even get to say goodby to his friend and roommate at Mississippi State, Rodney Stowers.

Robert Young looks as steady and calm as ever, but his words are searing, his sadness undisguised.

In an NFL rookie season full of wonder, Young has suddenly come face to face with tragedy and the frustration of being denied a chance to say goodby.

Last week, Rodney Stowers, his teammate at Mississippi State for two seasons, defensive linemate, roommate and closest friend, died of a lung hemorrhage after suffering a broken leg during a Mississippi State game and complications during surgery.

Sunday, the Rams had a bye, but Young was in Mississippi, at his friend’s memorial service. On Monday, they buried Stowers.

Later in the week, the Rams’ defensive lineman was back in uniform at Rams Park, determined to press on with his impressive rookie season, to honor Stowers by excelling in the game they both lived to play.

“I just have to put it out of my mind right now,” Young said. “Rodney’s gone, and there’s nothing I can do but remember the good times. I’ve got to carry on with my life. And he’s not going to be a part of it.

“I was looking forward to going back home (after the season), listening to what he had to say about my season, just hanging out with him and the other guys. . . . When I get back home, it’s going to be strange not seeing him around.”

Young, who roomed with Stowers after last season, didn’t even know Stowers had broken his leg until the night before Stowers died.

And when he called Stowers’ hospital room, they couldn’t talk because Stowers was unconscious and on a respirator. Stowers’ mother told Young she would give Rodney the message, and Young left it at that.

“And then the next morning they called to tell me he had died,” Young said quietly. “I was in total shock. I mean, I felt like I had lost a brother. I’ve already had one brother die. It’s like losing another brother.”

Young paused, then said: “The more I think about it, it happened so abruptly, and that gives me a hurting feeling, that I didn’t get a chance to talk to him before he died.”

But Young smiled broadly when asked about the last time he spoke with Stowers.

“I talked to him three weeks ago,” Young said. “The last few times I called, he wasn’t even in. He’d be out somewhere, doing something, probably having a good time.”

Young and Stowers were Mississippi State’s odd couple, Young said. Young was the older, more mature, calming presence for the younger Stowers, who was in his junior season this year.

Stowers was a heavy nose tackle, Young was a 6-foot-6 outside pass rusher. Young was in the NFL, Stowers dreamed of the day he would join his friend there. Different, but inseparable.

“See, that’s what made it all work,” Young said. “That’s the reason we were so close. I knew I had to keep him out of trouble. He’d try to do something, and I’d come in and say, ‘Come on, Rodney.’

“He was the type of guy, if he had something to say, he was going to say it. It might sound stupid or something, but he’d say it.

“He’d get mad at everyone else but me, because he knew I was trying to do the best for him. We did all this stuff in the summertime, we just pretty much hung together. I’d go over his house, he’d come over my house. We were always together.

“You saw one of us, you’d see the other.”

Stowers drove with Young this spring on Young’s trip west to join the Rams, then stayed for a couple of weeks, observing Young’s attempt to make it in the big time.

“Oh yeah, that’s all he talked about,” Young said. “I talked to him after a game or something, he’d be like, ‘You did OK against the pass, but you got jerked against the run.’ He’d go ahead and tell me what was on his mind.

“They had me lined up inside, and he’d say, ‘You’re just not a good inside player.’ He’d just say what was on his mind. He was that type of person.”

Young said Stowers was just as emotional on the field--a sure-bet NFL nose tackle.

“He was very intimidating,” Young said. “Strong, so strong to be as young as he was. He went on the field, and he’d tell you, ‘I don’t think anyone can block me.’

“And if he got whupped this play, he’d come back the next play harder.”

This season, Young said, is dedicated to Stowers. A fifth-round draft choice and a natural defensive end, Young has been used frequently at defensive tackle because of others’ injuries and the Rams’ need for big bodies inside.

His maturity, his ability to deal with life in the middle of the NFL fray, has made him a Ram mainstay.

“I didn’t think I was going to play as much as I have been,” Young said. “We’ve had a lot of things happen.

“I don’t regret any of it. I like it: Lining up there with the big boys and going at it. I know the pressure’s there, and it’s getting me to mature faster. I feel it’ll really help me in the long run because I’ve got to mature faster.”

Young has already been labeled a future star by Coach John Robinson, and the Rams are ecstatic about the way he has delivered when they have needed him most.

But for now, Young’s struggle is just to keep his mind on football, not on a grave site nearly 2,000 miles away.

“I knew I had to get back out here,” Young said when asked if he had considered taking a week off and staying in Mississippi. “Everything was done. There was nothing I could do. . . . I feel the further you’re away from a place, the less time you have to think about it.

“When I was there, I just walked around and everything I looked at reminded me of Rodney.”

Here, at least, with Sunday’s game against San Diego looming, Young has a game plan, his sore left elbow and concerns about the massive Charger offensive line to crowd out his sorrow.

“Considering he just came back, and they buried Rodney . . . , Robert’s OK,” defensive coordinator Jeff Fisher said.

“There’s no way in life in any given situation you can tell people how to deal with death and the loss of somebody you care about. What else can you say to him other than you’re sorry and I’m sure Rodney wants you to play hard for him?

“You have to deal with it in your own manner. That’s what Robert’s been doing. I’m not concerned about that because Robert’s a strong person.”

Said Young: “I’ve just got to keep it out. I’ve done a pretty good job keeping busy, so I don’t think about it.”

Young concedes, however, that Stowers’ sudden death after a football injury should give pause to anyone who plays football.

“Yes, it is scary,” Young said. “But we all know this is a dangerous sport when we start playing it. You’ve just got to put it out of your head and go. There’s no telling what might happen. Because if you start worrying about what might happen, you’ll never play up to your potential.”

And any time Young doesn’t play up to his, he expects to think of Stowers, and the way his best friend made him play harder.

“It’s going to be hard, since he’s not with me anymore,” Young said. “But I’ll carry on.”