True Story: President Bush once received a...

True Story: President Bush once received a letter inviting him to the funeral of a man described as a “hard-working, patriotic American.” There was just one hitch: The man wasn’t dead. No problem. His family explained that he was hooked to a life-support machine and they could pull the plug any time that suited the President’s schedule. “Just when you think you’ve seen and heard it all,” said Dian Moore, White House director of presidential inquiries, in a talk last week in Frederick, Md.

Puckering in Paris: A Paris court on Friday rejected a campaign to force the Italian clothing maker Benetton to take down 1,300 billboard ads around town showing a priest kissing a nun. A Roman Catholic citizens’ lobby had filed a complaint against the ad, claiming it was “particularly offensive to Catholics.” The court rebuffed the charge, saying the ads could not be called “anti-Christian racism.” But the ruling will have little effect: The signs, showing a collar-wearing priest and a nun in full habit kissing each other on the mouth, come down today, as scheduled.

Another View: The mayor of Puerto Real, Spain, fed up with his country’s plans to spend $1.8 billion to honor Christopher Columbus, says he’s not going to take it any more. Jose Antonio Barroso is going to erect a granite-and-bronze monument to what he calls the “abuses of European colonization. . . . This is for the victims” of colonization, he told reporters in Madrid. “This monument will serve to make amends and offer an alternative history.”

Top This: It’s so dry in California, they staple postage stamps to envelopes. A better whopper was told by Tyler Selden in the National Liars’ Hall of Fame contest in Dannebrog, Neb., last week: He said he wrestled an alligator for two hours because he wanted a pair of alligator boots. But it was all in vain: The gator wore no boots.