Trespassing golfers who practice their shots inside...

Trespassing golfers who practice their shots inside the Downey Cemetery are literally “out of bounds,” some visitors have complained recently.

So, the Downey City Council took the logical step: It voted to outlaw golf-playing at cemeteries.

“I concur with the relatives who want their loved ones to rest in peace,” said Mayor Pro Tem Diane Boggs.

“You wouldn’t think a law for this would be necessary,” she added. “We probably could have just chased them (the guerrilla golfers) off. But these days you have to have a reason to do something or you’ll get sued.”

Guarding against the possibility that the unidentified intruders might now take up a new sport, the lawmakers banned not only “the hitting of golf balls” but also “the playing or practicing of sports or recreational activities, which are contrary to, or disruptive of, cemetery purposes.”

Fortunately, the law was enacted before the duffers did any damage. A spokesman said he found no divots.

The recession is even affecting Sunday’s Doo Dah Parade in Pasadena. Rumor has it that one participant, the Church of the Ornamental Lawn Decorations, has elected not to distribute small pieces of Astroturf as love offerings to the spectators.

Poquito Mas, a North Hollywood restaurant, offers some unusual specials, including “Verb of the Week,” “Phrase of the Week,” and “Ten Words for This Week.”

As customer Mary Diltz discovered, the eatery hands diners a different sheet of Spanish terms and numbers each week as a sort of free educational service. (Don’t tell us that you already knew palillo means toothpick.)

Don’t worry if you fail to do your homework, though. There’ve been no pop quizzes yet.

Add this to the list of urban dangers: Exploding pea pods.

Michael DeWees of the Mid Valley News in the San Gabriel Valley sent us the evidence in a photo. It seems that a neighborhood eatery has a sort of awning made of pea pod vines. Coffee-drinkers sitting below take note. On the other hand, it could be the start of a new non-caffeine drink.

List of the Day:

Our favorites among the night classes listed in the 1992 UCLA Extension catalogue:

1--”Advanced Sitcom Laboratory.”

2--”Scones” (“from the traditional currant and oat to whole wheat and specialty. . . .”).

3--”Understanding Paragraphs.”

4--”Ethics in the Film and Television Industry” (which we think should be made a part of the “Writing Comedy for Film and TV” class).

5--”Celestial Navigation I: Sun.”

6--”Tamales.”

7--”Couples Communication Workshop” (“couples enroll in one name only”). And, please, let’s not fight over whose name is used.

Four USC students were nabbed recently by the California Highway Patrol, which says they were trying to steal a city of Malibu sign. Well, you wouldn’t expect USC students to try to filch a city of Cerritos sign, would you?

miscelLAny:

Of the 2.1 million residents sent jury-service questionnaires in L.A. County last year, 62% responded.