Polishing Up Crystal Ball for 1992 Sports Highlights

Ten things that are certain to happen in 1992:

1. Wally Joyner will have his usual sub-par second half, but will blame it on the painful artificial turf in Kansas City.

2. Chris Gwynn will outhit his brother, but will credit it to the kind artificial turf in Kansas City.

3. Marcus Allen will make the same salary as in 1991.

4. Tom Webster will bring back the Gretzky-Kurri-Sandstrom line in the playoffs, popularizing the phrase, “The Great Line and pray for nine.”

5. The USC sports information department will spend thousands to promote Deon Strother as the next great star at Tailback U., then Larry Smith will bench him.

6. Jerry Gray will leave the Rams via Plan B and become an all-pro safety.

7. Both the Lakers and Clippers will overlook Duane Cooper, who will spark some NBA team coming off the bench.

8. Juan Samuel will play in 160 games, bat .270, steal 25 bases, and declare there’s no way he will be back in 1993.

9. Harold Miner and the Trojans will upset UCLA in the Sports Arena, but will get blown out in Pauley Pavilion. Don MacLean and Tracy Murray will play some defense in the victory, but not much.

10. Mike Marshall will close in on Sadaharu Oh’s single-season home run record, but will injure himself during an intentional walk.

RON ANTONETTE

Moorpark