Author Aissa Wayne Finds New Life Hectic, Fulfilling

In the last few weeks, Aissa Wayne has endured red-eye flights and 5 a.m. wake-up calls, Geraldo and “Inside Edition” and Regis and Kathie Lee. She begged the “Today” show people to at least tell her what their first question would be--just in case her nervousness struck her dumb. On top of that, her mother told her she was wearing the same clothes on each show.

Such is life on the book-promotion circuit.

But fear not, she’s survived it, at least so far. Leg 2 of the promotion for “John Wayne, My Father,” co-authored by Ventura County writer Steve Delsohn, kicks off Thursday with another trip to New York before swinging back through the Midwest and returning to the West Coast.

It’s an engaging and self-effacing Aissa Wayne sitting in her Newport Beach home on New Year’s Eve day. Two of her three children, Nicky, 8, and Jennifer, 9, troop in and out of the room as she talks about the tours and self-confidence and learning life’s lessons.

The dawn of a new year is as symbolic a time as any to catch up with Wayne, now 35 and who has been on a wild ride of trauma and self-discovery in recent years. She can look back on the last 13 months that included the trial of her ex-husband, accused of masterminding an attack on her and a friend, and also the publication of the book on her legendary father.

Bolstered by the response to the book and her own growing sense of self, she says she’s as emotionally healthy as she’s ever been. She talks about not needing anything or anybody to round out her definition or herself--and then feels silly because she’s talking in cliches. But instead of sounding cliched, it sounds like a woman at ease with herself.

“I just feel like my life is turning around, personally, inside,” she says. “I’ve met a ton of wonderful people, had the opportunity to be on all those TV shows and meet those people, and I feel like I’m at an up point personally.”

You’d think the comfort of Newport Beach and of having John Wayne as your father would have already provided that. But while her book is generally an even-handed loving remembrance of her father, it also touches on the insecurities and fears that visited her well into adulthood.

“I swear to God, I’ve always been real shy and self-conscious,” she says. “After going through a couple divorces, I started looking at myself and re-evaluating. Then in the book I recalled every single moment of my childhood. Being on those shows was not easy for me, but I have gained a certain--I don’t know if it’s confidence--but I just don’t take myself so seriously anymore.

“It got to the point (a few years ago) where I said to myself, obviously you cannot make wise decisions,” she says. “So I knew I could not make intelligent decisions. I knew that I was way too emotional, too quick to jump into something, so I think I learned how to be patient. I think it had a lot to do with the fact I grew up as John Wayne’s daughter. My decisions were always made for me. I didn’t have to make decisions. And there was no adversity, because nobody would challenge me, so I didn’t have any experience with confrontation. Whatever was said for me, went. So I just followed along.” Her life hit its low point in 1988, during which she and ex-husband Thomas Gionis were fighting for custody of their child, Anastasia, now 4, and in which Wayne and a friend were attacked and beaten. One man has been convicted in connection with the assault. Gionis’ trial ended in a hung jury, and a retrial is pending.

I suggested that such serious events must have been especially traumatic if she was also emotionally vulnerable at the time.

“I would say I’ve been vulnerable probably almost all of my life,” she says, laughing.

But those days are receding into a past to be studied but not relived.

Is she still the shy, introspective type? “I think it’s almost gone,” she says, laughing again and talking about her growing confidence in front of the cameras. “I’m still reserved. I guess I’m just not afraid to speak up anymore.”

The book tour has also solidified her impressions of her famous father.

“A 22-year-old kid was driving me from one place to another and he said his dad used to abuse him from the time he could remember,” she says. “He said his recurring dream from the time he was 3 till he was 15 was that John Wayne would beat up his dad and stop him from abusing him. That just left me speechless. I thought, my God, the image this man must have portrayed.”

Gazing off into the new year, Wayne plans to keep plugging at the law degree she’s working on from Western State University College of Law in Fullerton. She concedes that she’s been called a “socialite” in the past, but says life now revolves around going to class and taking care of her kids.

Do you find yourself asking if this is really you--the mother of three and going to law school, I ask her.

“No,” she says, “the only thing I keep asking myself is where did the last 10 years go? That’s what’s weird, I can’t believe my age.”