Scream at Cable Company When It Cuts Off a Show

The Carpetbagger Clippers are battling the Atlanta Hawks in a key mid-season showdown, a hoops tussle of Gargantuan proportions. The game is heading into overtime. Each possession can be the difference between the Clippers’ winning or dropping into the pool of mediocrity that has characterized the team ever since it skulked out of San Diego.

Perpetually out of control guard Ron Harper goes up for a shot, a shot that can win the game.

Blip. No more Clippers. Instead, Cox Cable’s Channel 13 suddenly is showing one of the those video billboards, the politically correct blue screen giving viewers information only slightly more helpful than “sorry, you’re out of luck.” Just like that. Stay tuned to the news to see if the Clippers won or not.

The sudden disappearance of the Jan. 17 Clippers-Hawks game, was a symptom of modern times, the Syndex Era. Besides providing cable systems with an excuse to air a million infomercials for sunglasses, knives and hair-loss products, Syndex is the rule that forces cable operators to block out programs carried by out of town stations, when the same program is carried by a local station.

Cable operators make it very clear, whenever asked, that they hate Syndex. One of the reasons they hate it is because they had to establish a computerized system that automatically cuts away from normally scheduled channels at the end of programs.

Of course, it gets more complicated than that. For example, Cox cut away from the Clippers game to show the cable-only Channel 8 newscast, which airs at 10 p.m. on Cox’s Channel 13, not because of Syndex.

But the key here is that the computer didn’t realize the game had gone into overtime. It just did what it was told, switching off Channel 13 out of Los Angeles at 10 p.m. to carry the Channel 8 newscast.

The machine doesn’t understand overtime games or long movies or last-minute changes in schedules. It just follows the instructions of its masters.

According to Sharon Konz, Cox Cable’s Syndex coordinator, the Cox computers are programmed about a week ahead of time, while Southwestern General Manager Ann Burr said her system’s computers are programmed about 30 days in advance.

Any time there is change in the schedule that is not caught, “it is usually human error,” Konz said.

But at the moment a switch occurs, people at home often don’t realize that it’s simply a machine doing its job. It doesn’t happen often, but it only takes one missed overtime game, one cutoff of the end of a movie, to really drive a viewer crazy.

Screaming at the television doesn’t help (although it doesn’t hurt). Instead, to their credit, the cable systems encourage customers to scream at them, to call them up and let them know what’s wrong. There are people working at the cable plants almost around the clock who have the capability of switching programs.

Southwestern Cable General Manager Ann Burr said that even if a customer gets one of those bland answering machines that they should leave a message.

“Once they leave a message it will be relayed immediately to the technicians,” she said.

It happened last week, Burr said. The machine cut away from C-Span in the middle of a Senate debate in order to begin the regular community access programming.

Burr said several customers called to complain, and the station switched back to the debate.

“When it happens, we usually try to accommodate the customers,” Burr said.

Anyone who has dealt with cable customer service representatives knows it is not that easy, but the point is clear. Instead of throwing things, pulling out hair or raging against the evils of the world, cable customers should pick up the phone and vent their spleens to the cable companies.

Two former advertising employees of KJQY-FM (103.7), both female, have filed a lawsuit against General Manager Mike Kenney and station owner Command Communications, alleging sexual discrimination, wrongful termination and sexual harassment.

Chantelle Randolph and Paula Richmond claim that Kenney repeatedly touched them, made overt sexual remarks and forced them to perform menial office duties. Both were fired shortly after they informed Command chief Carl Brazzell about their charges, although they were assured their complaints wouldn’t be held against them, the suit claims.

Kenney was out of town and unavailable for comment. Los Angeles attorney Andrew Peterson, representing Kenney and Command, said Command has a corporate policy against commenting publicly on pending litigation, but he did offer a comment from Kenney.

“Mike feels strongly that the case has no merit and that it will be vigorously defended,” Peterson said.

KKLQ (Q106) debuts a new morning show today featuring “Magic” Matt Alan, most recently the afternoon guy at KIIS-FM in Los Angeles. He replaces John Murphy and Rick Rumble, who will remain with the station in other capacities. . . .

Sure, the recently announced rate hike by Daniels Cablevision is a jump of almost 10%. But those Orwellian folks at Daniels prefer consumers to look upon it as an increase of “less than seven cents a day.” The rates may be skyrocketing, but the 32-channel package costs “77 cents a day, about the price of a small soft drink,” according to a press release. So, remember, when the price of a home goes up by 10%, it’s not actually a 10% increase, it’s just the cost of a few hundred soft drinks per day. . . .

So much for Channel 39 Sports Guy Jim Laslavic’s clean-cut image. Now it can be told. The bar in one of the sports books in Tijuana is called “Laz’s Bar.” At first Laslavic denied any connection, but then he came clean. “My wife doesn’t know anything about it,” he said. “She thinks I do the 11 p.m. newscast. But I tape the 11 and go down there to hang out.” (Note to the humor impaired: he’s kidding.) . . .

In a sea of cheesy promotions, Channel 39 wins the prize for the spot featuring environment reporter Michael Settonni saying, with a condescending tone, “There are environmentalists out there lying to you,” which is just what you want to hear from a reporter covering environment issues. . . .

Longtime Channel 10 executive producer Wayne Brown is leaving to become news director of the fledgling Orange County News Network. . . .

George Essig, who has been with KFMB radio for 16 years, is the station’s new local sales manager.

CRITIC’S CHOICE

‘NAKED LUNCH’ IS MORE THAN CULT FILM

Labeling “Naked Lunch” as “weird” is a cop-out, a far too easy way to dismiss an edgy film that dares to trod on cinematic turf rarely explored by Hollywood.

On the face of it, any film that features a woman injecting bug powder into her breast and typewriters that turn into talking bugs would seem destined for cult classic status and little more. But David Cronenberg’s “Naked Lunch,” which is more an examination of the writing of William S. Burroughs’ free-form novel than an adaptation of it, is a fairly linear and understandable look at a writer’s creative process under the influence of drugs. Hallucinations and various forms of madness just seem to go with the territory.

“Naked Lunch,” which is screening at the Hillcrest Cinemas, is not a film for a fans of “Ghost,” but it is a visually and mentally stimulating film, with more than a few good laughs thrown in.