THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : Brown a Mixed Blessing, but a Blessing

To Donald Sterling and Elgin Baylor, 3939 S. Figueroa St., Los Angeles:

Congratulations! You finally bagged the elephant.

Now, as to the care and feeding . . .

Last week’s hiring of Larry Brown may be a watershed for the beleagured Clippers, marking the first time they’ve ever had enough (a) talent and (b) organization to be something other than a laughingstock.

As mixed a blessing as Brown is, he is definitely a blessing: immensely talented, charming and forceful. He has a perfect track record--he has never failed to dramatically improve any of his teams.

Two of them qualify as outright miracles--his UCLA team with four freshmen in key roles that made the NCAA finals (remember Sports Illustrated’s early-season “Bruins in Ruins” headline?), his Kansas champions, by record the most humble NCAA titlist ever.

His Nuggets averaged 55 victories in four seasons.

His Nets won the franchise’s only NBA playoff series.

His Spurs went from 21 victories to 56 and 55.

Of course, there’s a downside. There had to be. A heavyweight without a tragic flaw is never unemployed in the first place but becomes general manager and part-owner, a la Red Auerbach (in this business, having the manners of Attila the Hun doesn’t count as a tragic flaw.)

Brown has been unemployed often, if briefly and by his own choice.

A worrier for the ages, he needs a great deal of reassurance, a tall order for an organization that recently discovered the five-year contract. (Well, almost; they gave Brown the rest of this season and four more).

Having hired a good man, the Clippers have to stand by him, not merely officially but substantively.

Here are some guidelines:

--Give him the players he wants, within reason.

It’s OK to remind him that he can’t save everyone, so no more Sidney Greens and Sean Higgins. If he asks why, tell him his new team is young and foolish enough already.

--Let the players know he’s the boss.

No more meeting with the owner to complain about Don Casey, or voting themselves a day off. The next holiday they seize should cost them $5,000 apiece, more if there’s a game.

And a suggestion for Brown:

If you ever intend to mellow out just a little before you start cashing your Social Security checks, now’s the time.

MIKE SCHULER: (May 26, 1990-Feb. 5, 1992)

We’d like to thank him for the plug, but we didn’t get him fired.

He succumbed of bad choices. Basically, the Clippers shouldn’t have hired him and he shouldn’t have gone to work for them.

Schuler was another low-hassle special, the alternative to hiring Mike Fratello. As such, the organization wasn’t forced to have any confidence in Schuler . . . and didn’t.

In his first season, he was saddled by the Benoit Benjamin mess, wherein Benjamin, about to become a free agent, made an all-star drive, screeched to a halt when he wasn’t selected and was traded. Schuler got to see if he could assemble a new team on the fly. He couldn’t.

In his second season, they got him the point guard he needed--but Doc Rivers missed 24 starts and Charles Smith 32 by the all-star break.

Schuler didn’t make it to Thanksgiving before a high Clipper official acknowledged they were thinking of firing him.

The players polished him off by declaring Martin Luther King’s birthday a team holiday.

After that, Schuler was a walking corpse.

Here are the words for his Clipper tombstone:

He never had a chance.

SHOWTIME II: (Magician for a day)

Here’s the sad truth about Magic Johnnson’s All-Star appearance:

A lot of people would prefer he slip quietly away.

Most of the nation’s sports columnists say he shouldn’t play.

Every day of the last two weeks seemed to bring a new poll: NBA players (in favor of his All-Star appearance), Orlando fans (against), readers of Sports Illustrated for Kids (they still like him).

Houston Rocket Coach Don Chaney said he had read a book alleging the government is understating the ease of HIV transmission and concluded Magic shouldn’t play.

Philadelphia 76er forward Charles Barkley, who had caused a controversy by donning Johnson’s No. 32 to honor him--it was Billy Cunningham’s 76er number and had been retired--said Magic shouldn’t play because he had take attention from young players.

A day later, Barkley criticized Johnson’s former teammates, Byron Scott and A.C. Green, for saying Magic shouldn’t play.

(Of those objecting, only Scott was worried about Johnson. He feared Johnson would be seduced into a comeback that might put him at risk.)

We can dispense with the other objections briefly:

Question: Is there a health issue?

Answer: I’m not a doctor, nor is Chaney. The people who are doctors say this poses no appreciable risk.

Q: Isn’t an All-Star appointment supposed to be a reward for a good season?

A: Since when? This otherwise meaningless exhibition is mere entertainment. Appointment is by fan balloting. A.C. Green wasn’t having a better season than Karl Malone in 1990 when the fans installed him rather than the Mailman.

The fans put Johnson on this team and not in any hometown voting project, either. No other Laker finished in the top 10 at any position. James Worthy, who has played in the last five of these, was beaten out by such luminaries as Tony Campbell, Terry Cummings, Jerome Kersey, Tom Chambers and Billy Owens.

Q: Won’t Magic get all the attention?

A: So what? Better put the spotlight on an issue with real social implications than on the latest hot-dog’s exploits.

Q: But isn’t he retired?

A: If you want to get legalistic, he’s actually on the injured list. What really matters is that he’s a brave and widely admired man who will enjoy few things as much as today’s game. May he will enjoy it half as much as we’ve enjoyed him.

FACTS AND FIGURES

Fast break: Michael Jordan chartered a jet to fly him from Phoenix to Orlando for the All-Star game, planning to take Scottie Pippen and Craig Hodges along. However, after being suspended for bumping referee Tommie Wood, Jordan left early, leaving his teammates to fend for themselves. . . . Joke of the week: agent David Falk explaining Jordan had to tell the NBA not use his likeness to protect his commercial appeal. With the NBA undercutting Jordan’s appeal, he was earning $17 million annually in endorsements. Comment: Every time Jordan seems about to live down the rap that he is selfish and money hungry, something such as this happens. Maybe he is selfish and money hungry. . . . Detroit’s Dennis Rodman slept through a shoot- around, so Chuck Daly benched him against Milwaukee, jeopardizing his string of 20-rebound games. Rodman sat out the first seven minutes--then played the next 41 and took 21 rebounds. He has 22 20-rebound games. . . . Depends on who you ask: Louisiana State Coach Dale Brown on junior Shaquille O’Neal: “He’s coming back (next season). Shaq wants to get his degree. He’s happy playing college ball.” . . . NBA scouts think O’Neal will declare for this spring’s draft. Comment: Brown seems to coach better, the less talent he has (he reached the Final Four with Ricky Blanton, but not with O’Neal, John Williams or Chris Jackson). . . . Donaldson Tapes: Apparently bent on replacing Mark Aguirre as the most despised former Maverick, James Donaldson refused to apologize for punching Derek Harper--and secretly taped the team meeting. “I just wanted to make sure I had it for my own sanity and my own safety,” he said. . . . “It’s gone too far,” said teammate Rolando Blackman. “What’s he going to do now, record us on the team bus?” . . . Miami’s Rony Seikaly, reflecting on the Heat’s fine home record but poor road mark: “It’s unfortunate 15,000 fans can’t travel with us.”