If You Weren’t in First Place, He Would Second-Guess You

Charlie Finley’s telephone tirades were legendary during his days as owner of the Oakland Athletics. He often called managers in the middle of the night to second-guess them.

Tom Trebelhorn, former manager of the Milwaukee Brewers, recalls one conversation with Finley when he was managing the Athletics’ rookie league team in Boise, Ida.

“How’s your club?” Finley asked.

“We’re playing fine, sir,” Trebelhorn replied. “We’re in second place, and if we can win our next two games, we’ll be in first.”

Responded Finley, “No, you’re in first place now.”.

“No, sir, we’re in second place.”

Insisted Finley, “I know you’re in first place.”

“No, sir, Walla Walla is in first.”

“Walla Walla? Who the hell is this?”

“This is Trebelhorn with your rookie team, sir.”

“Oh, damn it, I wanted Rene Lachemann in Chattanooga. He’s got his team in first place. You’d better get going up there.”

Click.

Matter of timing: Reader D.K. Swan points out the changing attitudes of erstwhile bobsledder Herschel Walker.

“Before the start of the bobsled races, Walker said, ‘Some Swiss reporter asked me if I thought we could finish as high as sixth. I thought that was a dumb question. There’s no sense thinking about trying to finish sixth. If you do, you might as well not show up.’

“After the races, after he had been dropped from the team, Walker said, ‘Seventh place was nothing to be ashamed about.’ ”

Trivia time: Who has the best one-season batting average in New York Yankee history: Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Lou Gehrig?

Frequent flyer: The engine in Derrike Cope’s stock car logged more miles than he did in the week before the Daytona 500. The engine, damaged in qualifying, was flown to Charlotte, N.C., for repairs, then shipped back to Daytona for a 125-mile qualifying race. After the race it was returned to Charlotte “for freshening” and flown back to Daytona in time for the 500.

Cope dropped out after 300 miles with a broken radiator.

Expensive meal: When Australian golfer Steve Elkington reached down and plucked a piece of grass to chew on during the Swedish Open, he was penalized a stroke for touching a hazard.

What’s in a name: The recent edict of the Portland Oregonian to not use names with an Indian connotation has been suggested as a method of eliminating the use of tobacco-oriented names from TV and newspaper stories.

But how would they handle a story about the winner of a late model stock car race in Waynesboro, Va., named Philip Morris?

Trivia answer: None of the above. It was Babe Ruth, .393 in 1923.

Fast action: On a fight card in Atlantic City, N.J., there were five scheduled bouts. All ended in knockouts. Total time, 17 minutes.

Quotebook: Senegalese downhiller Lamine Gueye at Val d’Isere: “We have no word for downhill in Senegalese because we have no mountains. I was so afraid I almost threw up.”