Rushdie Describes Mental Toll, Hope for Normal Life

Like a man who has paced the same prison cell for more than three years, author Salman Rushdie said Tuesday that he is ready to break out--even if it isn’t quite safe to do so.

In a rare interview, Rushdie talked boldly of pushing back the frontiers of his freedom and stealing back the ordinary life that has eluded him since he was forced underground in February, 1989.

But then reality closed in, and the author who set the Muslim world aflame with his book “The Satanic Verses” conceded that years of isolation have taken a terrible psychological toll. They have embittered him, changing utterly the literary world that he once knew.

Looking pensive and exhausted, the Indian-born author predicted that he would eventually lead a normal life, free from the death sentence to which the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini condemned him. Yet he said that would not happen without a major diplomatic effort by the United States.

“I’m a novelist, for God’s sake, and nobody should be killed for writing a book,” said Rushdie, who emerged briefly from hiding in Great Britain to address an international conference on freedom of expression in suburban Arlington, Va. “I’ve had quite enough, actually. This is the year in which all of this insanity must finally end.”

Ever since the government of Iran put a $1-million price tag on his head, Rushdie has gone into hiding, forsaking the day-to-day freedoms he once enjoyed. Under constant guard by British secret police, he is almost never able to see his 12-year-old son, and he announced last year that his marriage to writer Marianne Wiggins had ended.

Angered that Khomeini and other Muslim leaders had condemned his allegorical novel as a blasphemy against Islam, Rushdie continued to speak out through essays and an occasional public speech. Meanwhile, the controversy spread across the globe: There were riots over “Satanic Verses” in Islamabad, Pakistan, bomb threats against U.S. stores that sold the book, and protests by American and European authors over Iran’s effort to censor Rushdie’s novel.

Now, with the paperback version of “Satanic Verses” appearing today in bookstores across America, the author said the time has come for him to play a more visible role in the campaign against Iran’s fatwa , or death decree.

“Something can be done on an international scale,” he said, relaxing in an apartment building that, according to security guidelines, could only be described as a large complex outside Washington. “American influence in the world has never been greater, and Iran will not move an inch further than it is pushed. So the question is, how far are we prepared to push?”

As he told the story of his confinement, however, an even more pressing question arose: How much more of this can Salman Rushdie take? The simple act of turning on a television or opening a newspaper, he said, has turned him into a nervous wreck.

Whenever he encounters criticism, Rushdie said, it feels like someone has punched him in the stomach. He has had to develop coping mechanisms just to get through the day.

“You can imagine the degree of anger and bitterness that one might feel when under this sustained kind of attack,” he said, smoothing a crease on his burgundy-colored suit. “It became clear to me at an early stage that if I was going to permit that to become my natural state of mind, my adversaries would have won a victory. . . . I had to find ways of letting go, to say the hell with them.”

His gloom grew, Rushdie said, when he learned that an influential segment of conservative politicians were questioning whether Britain should be paying so much money to protect the author from terrorist attack. Ever since the fatwa , he has been moved from one location to another, usually with little notice and under heavy guard.

“I do have some fears, real fears, that these people don’t want to do it . . . for whom protecting me is a terrible chore,” he said. “There’s a kind of rhetoric which seeks to show that I’m a person of no real value.”

Those fears escalated when Rushdie tried unsuccessfully to make peace with his Islamic tormentors. In the last few years, hoping to open a dialogue with Muslim clerics, the writer made a series of bold statements: He apologized if his book had offended anyone. He said that he accepted Islam, which amounted to a religious conversion, and he prevented any new translations of his book from being published.

Iran, however, failed to rescind the death decree. Rushdie said he felt angered and embarrassed at his concessions, and has since “taken back” his acceptance of Islam.

“After three years of having my life smashed about by religion, I don’t feel like associating myself with it,” he said. “I’m fighting for my life against it.”

The only permanent solution, Rushdie said, is for the United States and other Western governments to pressure Iran and force it to rescind Khomeini’s decree.

As security guards paced back and forth in the hall Tuesday, he expressed thanks for those American publishing companies and public service organizations that joined together as a consortium to print the paperback version of “Satanic Verses.” Although none of the groups have been identified, for security purposes, Rushdie said he hopes that all of the participants eventually will reveal themselves.

Meanwhile, he continues to live in solitude, hoping that people will not forget. At times, he looks on the bright side: One year ago, when Americans were still being held hostage in Lebanon, it would not have been possible for him to speak out as strongly on the issue as he can now.

“I’ve said it before, that I was held hostage to the hostages,” Rushdie remarked. “But now that situation is behind us, and it’s up to me to keep this issue before people. It’s not just America--it’s a problem with the whole world. People have shorter attention spans, so my challenge is to keep this situation in front of people and never let it fade away.”