TV Reviews : ‘Secrets of the Bible’ Cluttered With Kitsch

Remember Sunn Classic Pictures, the company responsible for such ‘70s features as “In Search of Historic Jesus,” “In Search of Noah’s Ark” and the UFO-conspiracy pic “Hangar 18”? They’re back--now known as Sun International--and seeing how one could theoretically trace at least part of the glut of “reality” programming on television now back to its ground-breaking “reality” feature films, it’s appropriate that Sun would provide something for the current TV sweeps with “Ancient Secrets of the Bible” (tonight at 9 on CBS, Channels 2 and 8).

Speaking of ancient, this two-hour special (hosted by William Devane) has the kind of low production values and campy dramatizations so in keeping with Sun’s ‘70s output that it seems like something that might have been unearthed by archeologists itself. But there is some interesting data here buried beneath the kitsch.

It opens with a series of obviously scripted man-on-the-street interviews, in which common folk offer their studied opinions on subjects like whether the Tower of Babel really existed, as if all the white-collar workers of the world rushed home to see if the postman brought the latest issue of Biblical Archaeology Review instead of the Victoria’s Secret catalogue. Prefiguring much hokiness to come, this is interspersed with stock biblical mini-epic footage from (we’re guessing here) Sun’s own “Greatest Heroes of the Bible” miniseries, some of the shots in scratchier shape than others.

Once the special lets some experts on the screen--as opposed to bad actors with glue-on Old Testament beards--it actually presents some fascinating historical speculation on how many of the miraculous cataclysms described in the ancient texts really could have happened. Strangely enough, though, the premise of the show seems at odds with itself, clearly wanting to inspire true faith, yet ascribing natural causes to supernaturally described events.

Never is this more apparent than in the “burning bush” segment, with a dramatization of God speaking to Moses through a flora inferno followed by a documentary bit in which a Middle East naturalist describes a regional plant that produces an oil so volatile it can be ignited by the midday sun. Which begs the question: If the omnipotent God of Israel deigned to use plant life as his earthly megaphone, would he necessarily have to find a naturally flammable one?

Later, we hear the latest speculation about wind conditions that could have caused a parting in the shallows of the Red Sea (the focus of actual news stories recently)--after a film clip of Moses parting the deepest section of the same, complete with ludicrous special effects, that’s basically low-tech De Mille redux. The hokiness of the biblical re-creations effectively undercuts whatever claims to legitimacy the special has.