Mentoring Process Nourishes Both Sides : Ritz-Carlton chef took interest in a young upstart years ago, and he hasn’t been disappointed. Experts say such a bond aids maven and novice.

They are as different as a quarter-pounder with cheese and a fine filet. John Gray, 25, grew up in San Clemente. He landed his first restaurant job as a dishwasher just 10 years ago.

Christian Rassinoux, 42, was raised in Paris and is a third-generation chef. As a boy, he worked at his grandfather’s charcuterie and went on to apprentice at his father’s renowned two - Michelin - star restaurant.

Gray, who is outgoing and single, has never worked outside Orange County. Before landing his job as a pantry cook with the Ritz-Carlton in Dana Point six years ago, he was a cook at McConahay’s in Mission Viejo.

Rassinoux, who is soft-spoken, married and the father of two young sons, has traveled extensively, refining his culinary craft at top hotels in Portugal, Kenya, South Africa, Denmark and Canada before coming to the United States in 1975. But despite the world of difference in their backgrounds and culture, Gray and Rassinoux have forged a unique and unlikely alliance since first meeting in the kitchen of the Ritz-Carlton back in 1986.

“When John first started here, he was young, stubborn, and totally undeveloped,” recalls Rassinoux, who has served as executive chef at the resort hotel for seven years. “He wanted to go too fast, so he made a lot of mistakes. He also found the beach very attractive, so he would often call in sick. Every supervisor around here wanted me to get rid of him. His personnel file probably looks like he should have been fired a hundred times.”

If Gray had worked for anyone else, he undoubtedly would have been. But Rassinoux says he saw in Gray something few others did: talent. So instead of getting rid of him, Rassinoux took a personal interest in Gray’s development, mentoring and guiding him through an apprenticeship process that came full circle earlier this year when his young protege was named chef of the hotel’s Club Grill & Bar supper club.

“Christian has had a lot of patience with me,” says Gray. “Back when my attendance problem had gotten to a point where he called me into his office, I thought I was going to get fired. He sat me down and told me that things had to change. He said that I had too much talent to jeopardize such a great opportunity by not being responsible. Basically, he told me to wise up.”

And that’s exactly what Gray determined to do. He began taking his job--and the education Rassinoux was providing him--seriously. He moved quickly up the ranks and through the six kitchens at the Ritz-Carlton, doing everything from making salads in the Terrace restaurant to supervising the banquet kitchen.

Gray says that under Rassinoux’s guidance, he’s learned as much about communication as he has about cooking.

“I like the way he works with people,” says Gray. “He takes a very positive approach that produces results. Even back in the early days when he was setting me straight a lot, I never felt like I’d been stepped on or scolded. I was always able to leave his office feeling valued and like he believed in me.” There were times over the past six years, Rassinoux speculates, when he believed in Gray more than Gray believed in himself.

“So many times I’ve worked with young people, even students from the best culinary schools, and you can see there is no talent,” says Rassinoux. “When that happens, I would rather speak frankly with them and say, ‘I really don’t see a future for you in this profession. You’re young. Maybe you should try something else.’ On the other hand, when someone who is creative and artistic like John comes along, I want to do what I can to help him develop his talent and grow.”

The mentoring process that has connected Gray and Rassinoux over the past six years can be one of the most mutually satisfying relationships people can have, says Dr. Harry K. Wexler, a clinical psychologist who specializes in men’s issues and heads a private-practice treatment center in Laguna Beach.

“A healthy relationship between a mentor and a younger or less experienced person validates both parties,” says Wexler.

“Being mentored allows the younger or less experienced person to develop and grow in ways he otherwise wouldn’t at that age or stage of development. It provides a priceless sense of perspective.

“And having someone take an interest in you and your growth also fuels a strong sense of self-esteem. Whether spoken or not, that attention is a real vote of confidence in you and your potential.”

The mentor, adds Wexler, also benefits in some fundamental ways.

“Sharing your experience and the life lessons you’ve learned along the way is a very empowering thing because it reminds you of their value and what you’ve accomplished in your own life,” Wexler says.

“It is also very helpful in neutralizing some of the negative aspects of aging because it casts the mentor in a vital and respected role. People mentor others because it makes them feel good while doing good. In nurturing others, we also nurture ourselves.”

Armed with solid experience and an abundance of self-confidence, Gray has lofty ambitions. He says he would like to open not one, but four, restaurants in Orange County by the time he celebrates his 30th birthday.

“Los Angeles has had it’s share of chefs who’ve made a profound food statement,” says Gray. “When people think of L.A. food, the person they think of is Wolfgang Puck. Orange County still needs someone like that, and I’d like to be that person. It takes a little luck, a lot of financing and a kitchen crew that believes in you and shares your vision. I’ve learned from Christian that no one makes it happen alone.”

Rassinoux says he has encouraged Gray to continue his growth within the Ritz-Carlton operation before launching his own restaurant. Eight chefs trained by Rassinoux are now working as executive chefs at other Ritz-Carlton hotels, and Rassinoux says he’s like very much to see Gray join that list.

The other ingredient still missing from Gray’s recipe for success, Rassinoux says, is the seasoning that comes from living abroad and sampling other cultures and cuisine firsthand. Gray was set to transfer to the new Ritz-Carlton in Barcelona, Spain, last year. But then his father died and his plans to move to Europe were put on hold.

Until another such opportunity presents itself, Gray is quite content to continue learning all that he can from Rassinoux--and to continue being a bit of a rebel.

“I’ve grown a lot over the past five or six years, but in some ways I still feel like I’m still basically a kid,” he says.

“I have a very carefree lifestyle. Nothing bothers me. If it’s time to fly off to Vegas on a gambling trip with the buddies, that’s what we do. The only difference these days is that I’m back to work when they expect me rather than when I feel like it.”