Name Droppers

In “Romeo and Juliet,” Shakespeare wrote “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” It’s still not a bad question, although for a number of local heavy metal bands, a mundane moniker would be a social disaster.

Social Climes recently saw a list of bands that have thrown a few new twists into the name game. The rules of the game come from a basic garage-band tenet: “What’s the use of having an outrageous band if you can’t have an outrageous name?”

Here are a few of the choicest:

Train of Pain, Muzza Chunka, Stanford Prison Experiment, Machines of Loving Grace, Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails, Holy Water, Lucky Pierre, Ashtray Heart (“Four young men, heavily addicted to nicotine and rock ‘n’ roll”), Pretty Vacant, Aristocratic Trash, Downy Mildew, Cannibal Corpse, Malevolent Creation, Bodacious Yabbos, the Crucified, Elvis Hitler, Possum Deth, Sykotik Sinfoney, Alley Cat Scratch, Flies on Fire, Male Order Brides, the Great Unwashed, Rhino Bucket, Resurrection Mary, Ellie Mae’s Biscuits, Napalm Death, Skinny Puppy, Krayola Cockroaches, Sam I Am, Earworm, Simon Le Greed, Pounded Clown and Hell Comes to Breakfast.

The Puppy Politic

Paul Newman did it. So did Tommy Lasorda and Frank Sinatra. Now Dick (“Eight Is Enough”) Van Patten has put his name and face on a line of food--but this one’s not for people. Pooches can now dine on Dick Van Patten’s Natural Balance Dog Food, in canned or dry formulas.

The celebrity-tinged canned grub comes in lamb and rice, beef and rice, liver and rice, and chicken and rice; the dry food is “oven baked” and “contains a natural pet odor eliminator.”

Van Patten took a cue from Newman and is donating all profits to animal charities, so the food is politically correct as well as good for your dog.

A Honeymoon We Approve Of

Social Climes recently spotted a car bedecked with streamers and “JUST MARRIED” in big block letters on the window--in the parking lot of the Beverly Center.